Cortigiana Onesta

I got this question the other day, from someone new to seeing providers.  We talked about this subject at great length and the conversation has inspired me to write a blog entry.

At first, I was going to password protect this post to men and providers but realised that if an angry wife found this blog and wanted to read this, it’s really not that hard to pretend to be a man.

So how do you see providers and not ruin your life?  It’s really not all that hard.  It requires thinking and being one step ahead.  Paranoia and guilt are the enemy.  If you feel paranoid or guilty, you might want to re-think whether or not this is something you really should be doing.

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I really wanted to post this yesterday, in honour of National Coming Out Day however I am on a mini-vay¹ and I am doing quasi-vacation like things. Like taking as many naps as I want, drawing, and otherwise relaxing.

This entry is extremely long, and extremely personal. Probably one of the most revealing things I’ve ever written about myself. If you can sit through the whole thing, I think you’ll see me in a completely different light.

There are tons of footnotes in this entry, mostly because I do not want to abuse parenthesis and brackets. You’ve been forewarned.

I am bisexual. I am not a “proud” bisexual, but I am bisexual. Before you start pelting me with rotted fruit or lit torches, let me explain why.

I do not believe that I was ever straight. Being bisexual is all I’ve ever known. And just like (most) straight people are not specifically proud of being straight, I am not specifically proud of being bisexual. It’s all I’ve ever known. I am no more proud of being bisexual than I am having freckles, or small hands. It’s just a part of who I am. And while I am proud of myself AS A WHOLE, I am not proud of individual aspects of my being. Much like I love having black eyes, I also love being bisexual. I just find proud to be the wrong adjective.

That being said…

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1. I got that term from a book about 15 years ago, started using it, but I’ll be damned if I can remember what book it was [↩]

no, not Church and State. Work and relationships.

One of the biggest misconceptions about sex work is that workers don’t or can’t have normal lives or relationships. That all we do is fuck, shop, and do drugs. That we take home hundreds of thousands a year that just gets pissed away on designer duds and designer drugs. We all have implants, model bodies, plastic surgery, perfect faces.

And of course anyone logical knows this isn’t the case.
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