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1.  Man Money on fire.


I’d heard the phrase burning money before but this is a new one…

I like candles.  If you’ve ever seen me professionally, you know this.  In my bathroom I have 2 recessed tealight holders, each holds 4 candles.  You can wash your hands, use mouthwash, and leave your envelope in the basket without ever turning on the light.

It was a normal morning, the client had just come out of the restroom and we were having a nice chat when I smelled something on fire.  I had no idea what it could be but could not visually identify anything so I went into the only other room with candles – the bathroom – only to see a large blaze.

Apparently without noticing the client had set the envelope down directly on one of the candle holders.  I threw the envelope into the sink and turned on the water.  Shockingly despite the blaze, most of the money was intact.  $60 was not salvageable and I had a fun time putting the rest through the a money order machine while about 8 people stared at me probably wondering what the hell happened to that money.

2.  My fist and half of my forearm has been inside of someone’s body.

This was something, that even as a bisexual woman, I never thought would happen.  I love the idea of fisting (giving, not receiving!) but it came to fruition last year.  It was pretty awesome.

3.  I have had sex with more women professionally than I have in my personal life.

This is a sad fact I think, but something that often gets asked and surprises people when I answer.  I just don’t pursue women (or men) these days and haven’t in about 2 years so honestly, it’s not a surprise at this point – at least to me
4.  Giving Greek can be incredibly messy if the person has no idea how to prepare.

No picture.  For your benefit, really.  I don’t feel I really need to elaborate either!

5.  I am a normal person and very down to earth.

Yes that’s me!  I went camping at Kentucky Lake earlier this year.

It really seems to surprise people that despite my rates I don’t dump my money into designer clothes, handbags, world travel*, and generally useless crap.  Instead we chat investments, savings, business plans, and cars.

Yes, cars.  I love cars.  I have a salvage that was my project (it’s done now), and a fun car with a turbo that I treated myself to earlier in the year after my old daily driver was stolen (long story).  I really enjoy talking cars/driving so don’t be afraid to bring them up.  My main interest is imports, but I can hold my own with domestics too

On a similar note – people are also surprised to hear I pay my taxes.  I don’t know why, I guess they feel if I don’t “have to” why should I?  Well, if I ever want to finance anything appropriate for my income bracket, I’m going to have to have proof of how much I made right?  Besides, it’s good karma and just the right thing to do.  Sheesh, I’m pretty sure I preach that one hard enough everyone already knew that anyway

*I have already been almost everywhere I want to go.  I have lived in 3 countries.  I have no desire to “see the world” as what I haven’t seen (and don’t already have plans to see) I have no interest in.

4.  Not paying taxes carries some pretty harsh penalties
Morality aside, do you REALLY want to pay fines, penalties, have a felony conviction on your record, and possibly go to jail over it?

Assuming you are a single person with no dependents and you make 85,000/year you owe about 14,000.  Yes, it’s a nice chunk of change…but if you don’t pay that 14,000 do you know what can happen to you?  From here:

– Late Filing Penalties
If you owe tax and don’t file on time, according to IRS regulations, penalties are assessed and added to your bill. Penalties are in addition to BOTH the tax due and the interest on the past due tax. The total late–filing penalty is usually 5% of the tax owed for each month, or part of a month, that your return is late up to five months (25%).If your return is over 60 days late, the minimum penalty for late filing is the smaller of $100 or 100 percent of the tax owed.
– Late Payment Penalties

Generally, interest is charged on any unpaid tax from the due date of the return until the date of payment. The interest rate on unpaid Federal tax is determined and posted every three months. It is the federal short–term interest rate plus 3 percent. Interest is compounded daily.

But that’s not all.  In addition to this, there are fines and potential jail sentences if you are caught.  They will audit you and tear your finances apart until they are satisfied.  The penalties are similar in Canada, albeit a little less cutthroat.

3.  The IRS is not someone you want in your life

If there is one thing the tragedy of Joseph Stack has proven, it’s that you really don’t want the IRS in your business day after day, year after year.  While his case was extreme, it does happen.  If you fall victim to a random audit and you haven’t been paying your taxes, for lack of a better term you’re fucked.  Revenue Canada is no better.  They will hound you until they get what you owe.

2.  Not paying taxes is stealing from your local area
This goes double if you live in a country such as Canada, where your taxes actually go to social programs.  When you don’t pay your taxes, you are depriving important services (such as fire and police) funding.  You are stealing from schools, parks, roads, and in certain cases (i.e. Canada) health care.

1.  You use the things taxes pay for every day of your life
The things listed in #2 are things most people use on a regular basis.  You count on the police to keep you safe, firefighters to put out your house if it goes up.  You drive on roads, you visit parks, you went to school.  Why on earth should everyone pay for that except you?  You are not above paying for this. This is especially true, once again, in Canada where your healthcare is paid for by taxes.  When you do not pay your taxes, the healthcare system suffers. 

What makes you feel so entitled that you should get something for nothing when everyone else has to pay?

You’ll still make money. Just not as much, and less repeat business. You can wear your everyday makeup that looks alright or you can take the time to find out what makeup looks best with your lingerie, match it according, and look smashing. You can shave down there daily and deal with razor burn and having to cover it with makeup, or you can research how to prevent it.

Now please don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying you HAVE to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on designer lingerie, shoes, stockings, clothes. You don’t have to buy Dior eyeshadow, Hermes handbags, Armani coats. That’s not what I’m saying at all, because it’s completely unnecessary. But in spending a little extra money and time, you can increase your earning potential and go much further in the business. The goal isn’t to spend lots of money, but rather to make it look like you do. The last thing you want in this business is to LOOK cheap.

Places like Winners (Canada) or TJ/TK Maxx (US/UK respectively), and Ross should be on your frequently visited list. Scour these places regularly, as they get some nice lingerie from time to time. I’ve found some really nice pieces of lingerie at Winners from Rampage (who also makes nice shoes).

Mid-priced lingerie shops like La Senza and Victoria’s Secret should also be on your radar during sales. Their full price stuff is, for the most part, a rip-0ff as the quality isn’t always the best. But their sale prices are more than fair. Same goes for your local department store. Keep an eye out there too, but don’t pay full price. Pay close attention to sales, coupons, and 2 for 1 (or similar) deals. Back to school and end of season sales are your best friend. With the economy being so bad, also watch for recession sales and business closing/liquidation sales.

Frederick’s of Hollywood is my favourite for non fishnet stockings, and bra and panty sets.  They often run great deals on bras.  Keep them on your radar, the stuff is quality and built to last.

But the real goldmine for lingerie, in my opinion, is a GOOD sex shop.  You’ll find the best ones near military bases.  Bonus points if there’s a strip club nearby. Body stockings, corsets, pvc, fishnet anything, costumes, and even some sheer dresses and teddies.  The stuff isn’t the GREATEST quality, but it’s usually at a low enough price it’s a non-issue.

I don’t recommend Walmart for anything other than regular pantyhose.

Buy lingerie that flatters your body type and any physical flaws you may have and take good care of your lingerie. It’s one of the most important things in terms of aesthetics.  I always stress that crotchless fishnets go a long way for leg and ass flaws, and good heels will lean you out.  3 to 4 inches is ideal.

Here’s a breakdown of my personal costs for work.

Make-up: $50 once every 3 months. I do not wear lipstick or perfume which saves a great deal of money. Before you ask why I don’t wear lipstick or perfume, think a little about how you would feel if your significant other came home smelling of lady’s perfume and lipstick on his collar.

Lingerie: This one is a little trickier but I’d say I spend anywhere from $500-$2000 a year depending on need.

Stockings: This is the item I have to replace most since they get the most wear. I probably spend about $20-30/month on them. I found that they all stretch, they all run, so just buy a mid-ranged brand that fits good and looks nice.  Frederick’s stockings last longer than most if we aren’t talking about fishnet.  Fishnet stockings are all shoddy quality.

Shoes: These take the least wear, you rarely walk in them, so just go for something that looks great with your lingerie and outcall clothing. I spent $25 bucks on some gorgeous black Mary Jane pumps at a post-Christmas sale. This is one thing you CAN go to Walmart/Target/Zellers/Payless for. I’m also a big fan of Macy’s for good heels, even though they will run you anywhere from 40-80 dollars at regular price. Just watch carefully for sales.

Hair care: I spend about $30 every 4 weeks for a colour, trim, and deep conditioning treatment. Your milage may vary depending on your hair type, length, and style desired. I have a professional flat iron ($150, but to be fair I bought it ages ago for personal use), and I use Q-Silk silicone hair treatment.  I go to my local beauty school for this.

Nails: I get one mani/pedi every 6 weeks or so and just maintain at home.  I use clear polish only.

Body: Whether it’s walking, running, doing yoga, putting an exercise bike in front of your TV, or going to the gym I feel the need to maintain my body.  Others don’t, and that’s fine, but I spent about $250 on a home bike, ankle weights, and some free weights.

Sexual safety: Condoms and lube! Absolute necessities. I spend about $250/year on condoms (from Condomania) and $100 on lube (from CheapLubes). I use Crown (also called Crown Skin Less Skin) for regular sized men, Magnums for larger men. I use Wet Platinum Premium Body Glide. Not to mention that CheapLubes includes a large sample pack of flavoured lubes/massage oils just for fun.

Outcall wear: I purchased a nice coat and 2 dresses for about $150 to wear to upscale hotels or restaurants. The coat was 70% off due to end of season/sidewalk sales, the dresses were buy one get one half off. I got a classy little black purse that matches everything for $15.

Cell phone: You need a phone with GPS tracking, texting, and that is easy to use.  YMMV on cost.

Overall, to pay for these things, I think I work maybe an extra hour or two a month tops. And these things really have made a difference. I’ve been doing this off and on for a few years now and while I’ve just gone back to it about 2 months ago, I have noticed a steady increase in my clientele since getting the money to do nicer things like the Brazilian, the professional hair colouring, manicures, nicer lingerie.

Now how about the non-monetary costs? I’ve gone over some of these in my FAQ and lists but not in very much detail.

Sex: I like sex, I do. I have a healthy sexual appetite and get regular non-work sex. I do not treat my sexual partners like clients, they do not treat me like an escort. I enjoy my sex life, and there’s been really no negative impact on it.

Friends: I have friends. Some know what I do, some don’t. I don’t tell the ones who don’t because most of them are either anti-sex work or just wouldn’t really get it. I don’t feel that their opinion of me should changed based on what I do for a living. I liken this to a doctor who performs abortions. That doctor probably just tells people, “Yeah I’m a doctor” and when they get asked specifics they mention “women’s health”. Most people know that I do lingerie and nude modeling, I don’t hide that. Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler have made it more okay to show off your body. But this kind of work isn’t quite there yet. So I either tell people that I just model. A few people know what I actually am, the ones I know won’t turn on me or judge me. The ones who get it.

Family: I don’t really have much of it. I have one family member of importance. They don’t know anything about this. They know about the modeling and aren’t really happy with it, but support my choices as an adult. I don’t know what they’d do if they knew, I don’t want to find out.  This person knows I do something other than modelling and is fine with whatever it is as long as I’m not dealing drugs. I think deep down they know, but neither of us really feels the need to verbalise it.

Availability: It’s a lot harder to plan my upcoming week.  I can plan way in advance, and block off time when I have no appointments, but I really hate making myself unavailable without knowing interest.  Most of my clients book anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 days in advance.

Reviews: My reviews are actually quite good, and I am blessed to have seen men with such kind words.  That being said, I do notice people sometimes trying to emulate what they read in the reviews which bugs me a bit.  I do not like to provide carbon copy service, and I certainly do not want to have the same encounter time and time again.

Physical demands: I feel like I’ve always got to be perfect. I watch my weight a little too closely and exercise more than I probably need to. I know I have a nice body, but I’m so paranoid and sometimes stress out. This is something that I’m getting better at dealing with, but it still does get to me sometimes.

STDs: Even though my clients are well screened (and have great hygeine), I get weekly tests, use condoms for everything, make sure there’s no visible sores or anything obvious it still IS a concern. I am comfortable with it, but one of the downsides is that yes, my job can get me sick. Will it? Probably not. And statistically I have a lower risk of getting an STD than women who go to bars, get drunk, and fuck without protection. But I do still think about it from time to time.

Public opinion/stereotypes: Annoying as hell. Part of the reason I keep this blog (aside from the fact that I like writing) is the hopes that it enlightens at least one person about the realities of sex work. If I can show 5 people in my entire life that sex work is not what the media says it is and they tell 5 people then all of my time invest in this blog is well worth it.

Assault/rape: This is a concern that plagues anyone who spends intimate time with multiple people. Women who go to bars often go willingly with men, decide not to sleep with them, and get beaten and raped. The same applies to escorts. This is why GOOD client screening is absolutely integral. I recommend carrying some form of legal protection. Pepper spray, a small knife, a self defense class. Just make sure whatever you carry is LEGAL in your area. The last thing you want to do is be arrested when in reality you’re the victim.

Legalities/Law Enforcement: What I do is completely legal. All money exchanged is for companionship only and anything that happens is a decision between two consenting adults. Money is not exchanged for sexual services, but rather time. The disclaimer on my page is absolutely true.  I do not sell sex, I sell my companionship.  I sell a fantasy.  There is nothing illegal about that whatsoever.

That being said, I work in both Canada and the US. The sex trade is kind of legal in Canada. However there are many people against it so there’s a bunch of little loopholes about what they can and can’t get you for. So you do have to be careful and know the law, but the worry is not as much as it is in the US. If you’re interested in this subject, here is a really good write-up about it. Knowing the law and knowing your rights is extremely important in the event you do have a run in with the moral police.  Always have the number of a good lawyer on hand too.

The book was a huge disappointment and actually really pissed me off. As one of the reviews say, all it did was reinforce the stereotype that sex workers are shopoholic drug addicts. And as we all know, that’s not true. But from what you read in this book it just seems like anyone worth a damn in the industry is living this lifestyle full of careless spending and drug binges. They act like it’s just standard to be a coke addict. Well it’s NOT. Yes, a lot of street workers are addicts…but most streetworkers were addicts who went into working to fund their habit. I’m talking about women who go into sex work voluntarily without an addiction fueling the decision.

Natalia, for example, made well over $10,000 a week. She was a Canadian immigrant to the US. She had no health insurance, no savings, she spent all of the money on clothes and drugs. Literally. And that annoys me, because THESE are the stories you hear about escorts – and strippers as well.

You don’t hear about the ones that fund their masters or even doctorate degrees with the money, or the ones who save wisely and end up with a paid off house and car before age 30. You never hear about the ones that are happy being escorts and do it long term, or the ones who are successful at it. You hear about the ones that have some kind of tragic failure or succumb to addiction or depression. Why? Because if we talked about the people who are HAPPY with sex work, who are in it voluntarily then it would become less taboo. The people against sex work don’t want to hear it. They don’t want to believe, or even face the fact that there are some people who are not mentally ill, who don’t have daddy issues, who aren’t on drugs that actually ENJOY sex work. They especially don’t want to admit that these women could have healthy relationships outside of work, raise normal children. That these women could be their friend or neighbour.

So instead, all we hear about are people like Ashley Dupré and Natalia. Now yes, we have the lovely Veronica Monet however I guarantee the average person would know Ashley over Veornica because of Eliot Spitzer. And that’s only public interest because it highlights the evils of prostitution. Shows the drama and shame.

And that folks, is not the real truth. That is not how the average sex worker lives. It’s not a non-stop-sex-party-coke-up-the-nose-until-my-septum-vanishes-designer-clothes-shopping-binge. Most of us lead absolutely normal lives with normal problems. Most of us aren’t nymphos. I enjoy sex with my significant other. I like my job, but it has nothing to do with the amount of sex I have.

But it got me to thinking, what would I do if I made Natalia’s rate ($2,000 per hour, 2 hour minimum – 50% house cut) working her hours (10-12 per day, 7 days per week). I couldn’t even imagine it. My mind was a giant blank. I couldn’t fathom what I would do with that money. So I just toned it down to if I made $5,000 a day (which is actually possible with my current rate) working 5 days per week. And this is what I came up with for $100,000 per month.

-Take care of my mothers rent and bills ($2,500 per month).
-Put $75,000/month in a high interest savings account.
-Pay my own bills ($3,500 – I’d get a nicer apartment with that kind of money, rent would be about $1,900)
-Buy a few very nice dresses/outfits for outcalls ($2,000-$3,500 one time cost)
-Maintain my work supplies ($35/month – new stockings, makeup, baby wipes, condoms, lube, etc)
-Tuition ($11,000/year)
-Pay my taxes

That’s all I can think of that’s really worth my money. I guess that makes me boring. But honestly, I’m just being realistic. Escorting will not last until I retire unless I’m very fortunate and age gracefully while taking amazing care of myself. Sex work is a time sensitive business for the average woman. I am not saying you have to look 20 your entire life, but you cannot fall apart either. The realism is that you will more than likely never make this kind of money again That is, unless you’re a doctor, lawyer, or something along those lines. So why NOT save?

I don’t know, I can see the temptations of ‘the easy life’ living in a harem like apartment for most people, getting high and drunk all the time, having a lot of sex and best of all getting paid for it. But I still can’t fathom how you could go through all of that shit and not save a dime. I am practical to a fault.

And worse yet, writing a book where you make your experience seem like the norm KNOWING it’s hurting other people in your former line of work, knowing that you’re the exception not the rule. Natalia’s book, especially the ending, makes her sound like she’s on a high horse now that she’s not an escort. She makes excuses of how she ‘stumbled’ into it, her woe is me story, and how she has a ‘legit’ job now. It’s as if she does not see the profession as valid at all and just used it as a means to party

It’s disappointing, to say the least.

10. The ability to work when, how often, and how much I want. With the money I earn, I only *need* 6 hours a month to pay all of my bills, bank a little, and have spending money.

9. The wonderful places I get to see. I get to visit swanky hotels and restaurants. Places I’d never go to on my own. I can relax in luxury AND get paid for it.

8. I get to pamper myself. Bi-weekly manicures and pedicures are a must as is monthly hair colouring/cutting/styling.

7. I own lingerie now. I’ve always loved lingerie, but never saw a reason to own or wear any. Now I get paid to have it.

6. Motivation to be healthy. I used to yoyo up and down in weight from unhealthily underweight to normal weight. Now I stay at a normal weight because looking like a skeleton is not what most guys want. I keep my BMI around 19 now.

5. My job is fun. I don’t mean that the sex is great, because it isn’t always. I enjoy the job itself and have a good time at work even if the fun isn’t always pleasure based.

4. I get to meet interesting people from all walks of life. I get to learn so many things about people, the world, life, you name it.

3. The money. I touched on this before, but the money is great. It allows me to pursue whatever I want as a hobby.

2. I enjoy making other people happy, and in this job I know I do exactly that. I give it my all every single time I go to work because my job is to make sure the client feels special, wanted, valued, and pleased.  And that makes me feel amazing.

1. Self confidence. I know that in reality, my job is no more or less empowering than any other but the amount of confidence I gain from it is indescribable. And because of this, I’m a happier person overall.

Five things I hate about my job:

5. I have to commute, as I don’t live in the area that I work.  It takes me about an hour to get to my usual service area.

4. I’m not really able to plan ahead as much as I’d like to.  For instance, I’ll think I have X, Y, and Z days off and then the day before X I’ll get bookings for all 3 days.

3. Clients who expect a PSE (porn star expirience) when they’ve requested a GFE (girlfirend expirience). They are different price points and you are not getting something for nothing.

2. Clients with WAY over the top egos. This includes:

a. Men who think they need large condoms and clearly do not AND get offended when I use regular sized condoms on them. If you like to believe you need a magnum and don’t, that’s fine. But when you expect me to compromise my safety to inflate your ego…no.

b. Clients who flex during intercourse, come on really? I don’t mind if you think you’re a stud in bed…but FLEXING? No.  This is not American Psycho.

c. Men that think they’re going to “loosen me up” and say it repeatedly during the act. Yeah okay buddy.

d. Clients who demand facials during a GFE. That’s a PSE offering only.  If that’s not okay with you, feel free to use another escort but getting arrogant with me telling me I’m ‘just a whore’ and should have no personal preferences or limitations because you’re paying me…well, go fuck yourself.

1. Bad hygiene. Showering isn’t hard, especially since we offer you one that is fully stocked with washcloths and soap. It only takes 3 minutes of your hour to clean yourself well enough. Please do it.

And for the love of god, make sure you wash your penis/testicles. I’ve found that cut men are LESS LIKELY to do this and it’s really made me come to internally cringe when I see a client is cut. Cleaner my ass. Wash your dick, cut or not. It’s not hard (no pun intended), rub it around in the shower for fuck sake. I get that (most of) you didn’t choose whether or not you’re cut but no matter WHAT skin you do (or don’t) have you DO choose whether or not you’re a stank ass.

Five random facts about me:

5. I am very outspoken. I try to be more passive and keep it to myself in my job since it earns more tips but I have very strong opinions.

4. I am an artist. I may not feel I am a very good artist, but I am one.  And I make money at it.

3. I love to cook. I don’t love to eat, but I love to cook. I think it falls in line with the whole art thing. I just love to create.

2. I only wear makeup for work. I don’t like it off the clock.

1. I don’t have the ‘perfect body’. I have a scar from my surgery and a few remnant stretch marks. I make the same rate as girls that model professionally. How and why? Confidence and skill. It’s all you need. Don’t let physical flaws hold you back.  This job is at least 75% attitude and confidence.