At first, I was going to password protect this post to men and providers but realised that if an angry wife found this blog and wanted to read this, it’s really not that hard to pretend to be a man.

So how do you see providers and not ruin your life?  It’s really not all that hard.  It requires thinking and being one step ahead.  Paranoia and guilt are the enemy.  If you feel paranoid or guilty, you might want to re-think whether or not this is something you really should be doing.

Throwaway Cell Phone
You can get these at Walmart, and they are not that expensive.  You put minutes on it when you want to hobby and the rest of the time just keep it hidden.  If at all possible, do not hide it in your house or car.  A suspicious woman will tear apart your home and car if she has the opportunity.  A throwaway cell phone is a good indicator you may be cheating.  Make sure voicemail is disabled and every single call or text is deleted.

I don’t recommend using your real phone if your wife has access to the bill.  She WILL see what numbers you called/texted and probably call one’s she doesn’t recognise to see if a woman answers.  While this sounds “out there”, just ask the next escort you see if she’s ever been called by a wife.  I know I’ve been called, emailed, and even PMed on a review board by irate wives.

Make a second (fake) email address
Do not use your primary email address, especially if you think your wife has your password.  Make a fake one somewhere.  Hushmail, Gmail, and Yahoo are all good places (though Yahoo tends to direct a lot of provider emails to your spam folder, so check it frequently).

Choose your username wisely.  Make it something related to you (i.e. golfman93203) but not sexual (i.e. swallowmyload6969).  If your wife DOES find your secondary account it’s better that it looks non-descriptive.  I personally prefer gmail due to the ability to archive active emails (which hides them from plain site) just in case anyone DOES get in.  However if your wife uses/knows gmail she will know exactly how and where to find them.  I recommend deleting ANY emails you do not NEED to be active.

On a similar subject, make sure the password is something your wife could never guess.  Don’t use anything even close to related to what your normal passwords are.  Honestly, I suggest the Strong Password Generator.  Make sure to check the email service you’re using allows special characters before generating the password.

Cover your tracks on the internet
Even if you have your own laptop/computer make sure to ALWAYS clear the history, cache, and cookies after each time you use the browser.  Certain browsers now have “privacy modes”.  Use these, they’re great!

Do not register for any industry related sites with anything your wife could recognise.  If your name is Jim B. Jacobson your TER username should probably not be jbjacobson.  But at the same time it shouldn’t be the same as your fake email address.  You want something generic and non-sexual.  Do not use your age or race in the username.  Whiteman44 is not a good username as your wife knows you are white and 44.  Try the Username Generator if you are stuck for something good.

Do not be stupid with phone numbers
Don’t keep numbers around with lady’s working names in your phone.  That’s asking for it.  Make sure the names are the names of men.  Pick something that starts with the same letter.  Missy becomes Mike, Harmony become Harold, Eva becomes Erik, etc al.

Keeping numbers of your short list is a good idea so you don’t have to constantly risk using the PC to get them, but only if your phone is well hidden.

Believable Cover Story
Exactly as it says, you need a GOOD cover story.  If you’re overweight saying you’re at the gym isn’t a good idea unless you are actively losing weight.  Your wife will notice you are not in any better shape and that your body hasn’t changed after about a month.  You have to come up with something realistic that will not arise suspicion.  The last thing you want is your wife calling where you’re supposed to be, only to find out you aren’t there.  So think long and hard about your cover story.

Take the time to research and only choose reputable providers
Check her site, check reviews, look for paid advertising.  Make sure the people who’ve reviewed her have a good review history.  Google her name, see what you find.  You may end up spending a bit more, as reputable providers with good reputations often have higher rates – but isn’t it worth it to not ruin your life?

Remember this though – reputable providers DO screen.  If you want to limit what personal information you give to the provider, use P411 or Date-Check.  The company has the information, and you choose what providers see.

Avoid CL/Backpage style sites
I personally say that in the US you should just avoid Craigslist and Backpage or ANY similar sites.  It’s not that all of the ladies on there are not legit/reputable, it’s that there can often be a lot of LE lurking around.  Being arrested is a good way to be caught by your wife when she has to come post bail.

DO NOT PLAY WITHOUT PAYING
Do not sleep with girls you are not paying.  Why, you may ask?  It’s simple.  A girl you are paying is more than likely making her living that way.  She has as much to lose as you do if the two of you are exposed.  She is doing something that by the letter of the law can be percieved as illegal.  She faces a criminal record, fines, and potential jail time.  Women you’re paying aren’t likely to ruin their lives just to expose you to your wife.  Women you get for free are more likely to blackmail you since the only personal gain they’re getting is orgasms.  This is especially true if you make 6 figures and up and the woman knows it.

Now go out there, have fun, and don’t get caught

I saw this as a good opportunity to write a post on the differences between courtesans and escorts.  While they are part of the same field, they are not the same.  You could liken this to a surgeon not being the same as an obstetrician.  They are both doctors, but they specialise in different aspects of their field.

Let me start by saying that one is not better than the other.  The two are different and it really just comes down to “Different strokes for different folks”.

Fundamental Differences
An escort will often greet a client with a kiss, and some minor chit chat will ensue.  Normally, it won’t be much and they will get right down to business.  This chat may even occur while the client undresses, sets down his donation, and moves to the bed.  There will be some superficial connection, but what it comes down to is a the client being happy with what he sees.  Usually not much on the personal level.  An escort will focus on physically pleasuring the client ot his hearts content.

Afterward, there will usually be a bit more conversation leading up to either another shot or the end of the session.  Some do not stay the remainder of the duration.  The average booking is between 30 minutes and 2 hours.

Escorts are perfect for clients who:

• Is looking for a quickie
• Is looking for the fantasy situation of showing up, fucking, and leaving
• Want absolute “no strings attached” sex where emotions do not come into play at all
• Are hobbyists

Courtesans, on the other hand, tend to focus on the mind first and body later.  A courtesan may have wine, sparkling water, or even a fruit tray available to share at the beginning of the appointment.  Often the first portion of the appointment is spent talking – usually about his life (without going into TOO much detail of course), her past/background/education, current events, politics, or anything else that may come up.  Courtesans more often than not hold a degree, or are in the end stages working on one.¹  Many clients who hire courtesans will talk to them about their life and problems, hoping for the point of view of an uninvolved party.  Or even just an ear to listen, or shoulder to cry on.

When the courtesan feels a good connection has formed, she will progress the visit into the bedroom.  Afterwards, there’s usually a continuation of an earlier conversation and perhaps more activities if the mood is right.  Courtesans focus on both mental and physical stimulation under the belief that a psychological release can lead to a better physical one.  Also they feel the more comfortable the client is, the more open he can be behind closed doors enabling him to act out all of his deepest fantasies.

Courtesans are perfect for clients who:

• Desire a connection before intercourse
• Want to spend a longer period of time with the courtesan
• Need someone to talk to, whether on a casual level or deeper one
• Also subscribe to the belief that an emotional release first makes the physical release better

Price and Time Differences
While many escorts will offer half hour bookings, the average courtesan starts around 1 or 2 hours.

The reason for this isn’t because the courtesan wants more money, or is greedy – but because you cannot make the desired connection in 30 minutes AND allow time for the physical release.  You would use up the vast majority of the time (if not all of it) outside of the bedroom making the connection.

This does mean if you wish to see a courtesan, you will need more time and money.  There is an upside to this though.  Most escorts will allow you to book 30 min-4 hours, however the rates will simply be the 1 hour rate multiplied by the amount of hours, with the exception of 30 minutes (which usually is 2/3 the 1 hour rate).  Courtesans will often offer multi-hour discount.  I’ll use my own rates as an example.

My rate table when I was an escort:
$200/30 minutes
$250/1 hour
$375/1.5 hours
$500/2 hours
$750/3 hours
$1000/4 hours

My rate table as a courtesan:
$300/45 minutes (available for regulars only)
$350/1 hour
$500/1.5 hours
$650/2 hours
$900/3 hours
$1200/4 hours

As a courtesan, clients who book longer sessions are more often than not looking for the companionship aspect which is something I am more than happy to provide for hours at a time with a bit of fun mixed in.  With escorting, it’s a lot more physically demanding which is why I did not offer the same discounts.

I can see why the client who wrote that review was bothered.  Unfortunately the true differences between what escorts and courtesans are really aren’t that well known.  Most people probably just think “courtesan” is a good way to slap a higher price tag on the same product.  Unfortunately, as this client found out, that is not the case at all.  I say “unfortunately” because the client ended up unsatisfied, which is something that both escorts and courtesans would see as unfortunate.

In the end we’re all in the business of pleasure and satisfaction, and we’re all disappointed in ourselves when we don’t give it.

1. This does not mean escorts do not or cannot have degrees.  Many do!  And many are brilliant women.  What I’m simply saying is that a solid education is a requirement of being a courtesan due to the clientele you draw

Alexa states: The average client for most escorts (in the US) is a white male, in his mid-40s, and rather vanilla in his preferences.

I would agree with this. The average client is white, middle aged, and just looking for “normal” things like oral sex and multiple positions. Maybe anal if he’s feeling adventurous.

My average client age is all over the place. I cater to quite a few gentleman over 60. About 1/2 of them are widows or their wives are no longer physically able to be with them. Many of these men are just looking for companionship, cuddling, and just playing around. Though I will say this, there are some older clients that put guys my age¹ to absolute shame.

My youngest client was 23. He was new in town, worked 12-16 hours a day, and didn’t want to deal with the BS of dating. He figured paid companionship was the way to go.

I’d say if I had to put it in order, my average clients are usually 50-60, 40-50, 20-30, and 30-40.

I enjoy men from all walks, including hobbyists². I like impressing them quite a bit, and I have found them (for the most part) to be quite good. I do not have a review policy³ so hobbyists are fine by me. A lot of providers really don’t like them, and I can absolutely see why. Many of them think that providers are not equal to people, and they certainly don’t see them as in the customer service industry. They think they can barter, haggle, and publicly complain about prices. If you can screen out that type, hobbyists can be REALLY fun.

In terms of race, the majority of my clients are white. I have many Asian clients, and when in Canada a sprinkling of East Indians. I have had one black client, but no Hispanics as of yet. Most of my clients are from the US, Canada, or Ireland. I’m not sure why Ireland, but I’m guessing it has to do with me being a redhead.

In terms of profession I see a lot of “businessmen” (Owners, CEOs, and VPs mostly). I also see a decent amount of “professionals” (doctors, lawyers). And for whatever reason, I draw a lot of interest from men that work in IT. Namely programmers and game designers. I think this has to do with me enjoying Linux.

Unlike most, I do not focus on building a steady supply of regulars. I do have a fair amount of repeat business, but I’d say it only makes up about 1/3 of my business. The main reason for this is that the vast majority of my clients are only passing through the area either for some sort of music festival/concert/event or on business. I think that is mostly due to my location. When I was in Vancouver, I did have a steady supply of regulars.

My clients are, for the most part, married. Many openly wear their ring, but never talk about their marriages. Some don’t have rings, but talk about their wives and children openly. I do have a fair amount of single clients too, mostly my under 30 crowd. As I mentioned earlier, I also see a fair amount of widowers.

I’d say about half my clients are “vanilla”. The other half fall into two groups: Those who want backdoor play, and those who want to do Greek on me. I’ve noticed a much larger group of people who enjoy things like prostate massage down here in the Bible Belt where it’s more taboo to ask your partner for such things. I’m not sure location has anything to do with it, but if it did I certainly wouldn’t be surprised.

I have never had a client ask for BBFS, and would ask them to leave if they did. I’ve done CBJ and BBBJ. I make sure to get tested quite often completely with a throat swab.

So why is my client pool different than say, Rebecca’s, Alexa’s, or Rachael’s??

The difference in visit lengths is part of it. Alexa prefers 2 hours, Rebecca prefers overnights. I’m a big fan of the gentleman’s hour⁴ and 3-4 hour visits. Much like every lady has a time preference, so does every client.

How and where I advertise is an attributing factor too. I have a banner running on TBD⁵, a weekly ad on TER⁶, SouthernGFE, and OAD⁷. Why so many places? Well, when I am in Canada I advertise on EROS, PERB⁸, and CERF⁹. I get a lot of my business in Canada via word of mouth and referrals. Down here in Nashville I don’t have the luxury of referrals as I’m new to the area. So advertising is the way to go until I build a solid reputation¹⁰.

Alexa made a wonderful point in her post. She mentioned that aside from a few small details, her clients aren’t much different than the clients of other women in the high end of the industry. I would have to agree. I would imagine that most women in my price point have the same types of clientele. The exception is my “non-vanilla” clients. Most of them admit they do not ask other providers for these things, but that my reviews + how open minded I seem in person lead them to ask me. I guess there’s just something about redheads, eh?

1. 25
2. also known as pooners, punters
3. other than “please link it to me”
4. 90 minutes
5. a national review board
6. another national review board
7. OpenAdultDirectory
8. local review board
9. another local board
10. I’m actually doing quite well on that and am very happy

They are all filthy rich
Generally when you see men in the media who’ve been caught with escorts, they are well off. While many of the clients I see are in “white collar jobs”¹, there’s also a good number of “blue collar workers”² that see me as well. The ONLY difference is that one group saves up to see me, and the other group is fortunate enough to have more disposable income.

Can a man with more disposable income occasionally indulge more? Yes. But this is actually pretty rare. All of my clients, regardless of financial status, see me around the same amount.

They are “creepy old men”
My client base ranges from 20 to 75. Most clients are between 30-55, with the average client being around 43-47. Hardly “creepy old men”, at least in my opinion. I have seen several older clients (65+), and really enjoy my time with them. I’ve not had a single client that fits the “creepy old man” stereotype. I’m sure there are “creepy old men” who see escorts, and I may even encounter one, but are they the norm? Hardly.

There must be something wrong for them to pay for sex
Is there something wrong with you because you pay someone to colour your hair? Is there something wrong with you because you get Roto-Rooter to fix your toilet instead of DIY? I don’t think so. I am of the mindset that if you want something done right, you’re better off hiring a professional than taking a gamble with an amateur.

When it comes down to it, hiring an escort is cheaper than going barhopping. Not only is it cheaper, it’s as close to a guarantee as you’re going to get. Not to mention the girl is likely to be more sober than one you pick up in a bar.

When selecting an escort, you can choose someone who fits your aesthetic preferences. You can read reviews and get a preview of whether or not you’ll be getting the most bang for your buck³. There’s also the advantage of the drama-free encounter, not having to call someone the next morning, and a true no strings attached encounter.

In short, hiring a professional is not done because there’s something wrong with the client. The average client merely wants a professional experience with no drama.

They are sleazy womanisers, and/or misogynists
Quite the opposite actually. The average client enjoys the female body almost to the point of worship. I have found my clients to be the biggest sweethearts in the world. Generally those who hate women do not pay them hundreds of dollars for their company.

They are sexually inept
No more than the average man. I’ve had clients that were amazing lovers, clients that were poor lovers, and clients that wanted to have lessons in becoming better lovers.

What I have found is that my clients are more into the idea of pleasing me first and them second. Moreso than the average man. If anything, I’d say that fact alone makes them a better lover whether or not their sexual skills are top notch.

They are socially inept
Also not true. I’ve had shy, awkward clients but again – no more than in everyday life. The majority of my clients are very talkative and outgoing. It’s not that they can’t get a woman, or are too awkward around them. Most just don’t want the drama of unpaid companionship.

1. I really hate the labels white and blue collar
2. I really hate the labels white and blue collar
3. pun intended

A hobbyist is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a men who sees providers, as a hobby. Another term for this is pooning. And men who poon are pooners.   Some hate this term, some embrace it.  Personally I prefer the term “hobbyist” to “pooner”.

A lot of providers won’t see hobbyists. They say it makes them feel cheap, it cheapens what they do and provide, the ridicule they receive from the hobbyists on message boards and review sites isn’t worth the money.

Are there some hobbyists that shit all over women for every little flaw, who criticise them on message boards, who degrade them as human beings? Yes. It takes very little searching to find discussion that would sicken you. The way they talk about these women can be horrifying.

But that’s not all hobbyists! Not even close!

The average hobbyist, in my personal experience, is the average guy. They have good hygiene, they make good small talk. They’re there to get down to business, to get what they want how they like it. At the end, they shower, dress, and leave. No ifs, ands, or buts. Clean cut, fun, non-rushed time. I’d liken it to an NSA arrangement with someone you meet at a bar – except without the inebriation and awkwardness.

And I like this, I’m not at all opposed to the get down to business approach. I’m a fan of the afternoon quickie as much as they are. And I’m okay with what may be said on boards or review sites later. I go into the session knowing that, and I am not afraid of what they’ll say.  Not one bit. I am more than happy to see hobbyists. I absolutely LOVE to the point encounters some days.  If I’m not in the mood, I simply won’t schedule it.