Cortigiana Onesta

I really wanted to post this yesterday, in honour of National Coming Out Day however I am on a mini-vay¹ and I am doing quasi-vacation like things. Like taking as many naps as I want, drawing, and otherwise relaxing.

This entry is extremely long, and extremely personal. Probably one of the most revealing things I’ve ever written about myself. If you can sit through the whole thing, I think you’ll see me in a completely different light.

There are tons of footnotes in this entry, mostly because I do not want to abuse parenthesis and brackets. You’ve been forewarned.

I am bisexual. I am not a “proud” bisexual, but I am bisexual. Before you start pelting me with rotted fruit or lit torches, let me explain why.

I do not believe that I was ever straight. Being bisexual is all I’ve ever known. And just like (most) straight people are not specifically proud of being straight, I am not specifically proud of being bisexual. It’s all I’ve ever known. I am no more proud of being bisexual than I am having freckles, or small hands. It’s just a part of who I am. And while I am proud of myself AS A WHOLE, I am not proud of individual aspects of my being. Much like I love having black eyes, I also love being bisexual. I just find proud to be the wrong adjective.

That being said…

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1. I got that term from a book about 15 years ago, started using it, but I’ll be damned if I can remember what book it was [↩]

Title catch your attention? Good. This is not directly escorting related, however HIV is a big issue for me. And being that I’ve heard the “Circumcision prevents HIV” line from men of all ages, I really feel this is important to write about. And I’m not going to add a “read more” to this, as I feel it’s important enough to take up half the screen on my blog.

A few years ago some studies came out saying that HIV transmission in males could be reduced by circumcision. The percentages varied based on who was reporting but it was anywhere from 30% all the way to 75%. What was never mentioned is that this only applied to female-to-male transmission, one of the lowest types. It was touted as “Circumcision can reduce HIV by up to 70%”. Very misleading, but the media ate it up.

This always struck me as odd, right from the beginning. The United States has one of the highest circumcision rates in the world and is the only country left routinely do it at birth¹. 3/4 of the women infected with HIV in the US are infected via heterosexual contact, most likely with circumcised men². While over in Europe, there is less HIV and barely any circumcised men.

Now, I am not saying the foreskin is the Holy Grail in HIV prevention. Not at all. What I’m saying is that it is not the almighty evil HIV magnet that the media made it out to be after one study that was shady, at best³.

What I am saying is this:

CONDOMS, not cosmetic surgery⁴, are the best way to prevent HIV.

This article is a pretty good read about the subject. This is the part that stuck out to me.

As thousands of young men in Nyanza Province troop to health centres to be circumcised in hopes of fending off HIV, new studies show it might be too early to claim victory. Although circumcision has been touted as one of the ways to prevent HIV infection, recent findings show an increase in HIV infection in regions where most males are circumcised.

Within a span of five years, HIV prevalence in North Eastern and Coast provinces increased from 0 to 1.0 per cent and from 5.8 per cent to 8.3 per cent respectively. In the same period, HIV prevalence in Nyanza Province, where about 48 per cent of males are circumcised, stood at 15 per cent, the highest in the country.

I’m not surprised. Sex with multiple partners WITHOUT a condom, no matter WHAT skin is on your dick, is going to eventually lead to HIV. Period.

The worst part is this: Even if circumcision was effective again, the important thing that’s not mentioned in most articles (but is available in the full study) is that it does NOTHING for male-to-female transmission. It was only ever described as effective in female-to-male transmission, the lowest type.

Maybe it’s just me but the “studies” done were irresponsible and ridiculous from the beginning, and they have gambled with people’s health. Not just to the men (and their partners) in Africa, but to the people in the US who heard these ridiculous claims in the media and believed them. I’ve heard MANY guys (mostly people I know, met, or have overheard) say that they were stoked about the studies because it meant they didn’t need condoms if their GF was on the pill because, and I quote, “cut guys can’t get AIDS”. This plus teenagers being told by abstinence only fanatics⁵ that condoms aren’t effective is going to lead nowhere good.

Would I be the only one surprised if the US HIV rate in young people dramatically goes up in the next 5 or so years?

1. The term routine in this instance refers to non-ritual circumcision [↩]
2. The circumcision rate in 1980 and before hung out around 80% and started to drop in the late 80s. Today it sits at 50/50 but infants aren’t having sex so I’m not really including them [↩]
3. The intact males were given NO condom education and started sexual activity 6 weeks before their circumcised counterparts, the circumcised men were given information on STDs and condom usage. Several months later when the numbers were starting to show the cut guys catching up to the intact ones the study was ended a year early [↩]
4. There are 3 medical reasons to ever remove the foreskin: cancer, frostbite, gangrene. Everything else is treatable with either pills, cream, or even masturbation [no joke]. All major medical associations consider the surgery non-therapeutic [↩]
5. I am fine with “wait until marriage”, but when they start saying shit like “condoms have holes in them” and “abortion makes you sterile” I get a little pissed off [↩]

I am back, after several months.  I feel I should explain my random disappearance.

Life got hectic, I got popular, and something had to give.  Unfortunately for all of us, it was the blog.  I missed writing it, and surprisingly some people missed reading it.  The amount of requests I got to bring it back was shocking.  So I did.  To this shiny new URL with a shiny new title.  I think it fits.  I’m a different woman now, as cliche as that sounds.  I’ve put my old entries up, but I have edited them a bit.

I have some entries I’d like to write but this weekend is just focused on getting everything back up and running.  If there’s time tomorrow night, I will sit down and write my little heart out.  For now you get an “About Me”.

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One of the most common questions I get is “what would an average day in your life” be like. So I thought I’d chronicle a day in my life. This isn’t merely an average day, but a real day that happened recently.

9am: I wake up and check my email for questions or Reservation Requests. I answer a few questions, book a potential appointment, and decide to get some more sleep. I had not gotten to bed until close to 4. I know that I have a multi-hour booking at 6pm and I need to be well rested.

Around noon: I get up, have some frosted mini-wheats and start my day. I watch a little Law and Order while sifting through and answering the emails and reservation requests that have filled my inbox. Since I’m currently “on tour” I have more than usual to sort through, mostly questions.
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no, not Church and State. Work and relationships.

One of the biggest misconceptions about sex work is that workers don’t or can’t have normal lives or relationships. That all we do is fuck, shop, and do drugs. That we take home hundreds of thousands a year that just gets pissed away on designer duds and designer drugs. We all have implants, model bodies, plastic surgery, perfect faces.

And of course anyone logical knows this isn’t the case.
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Ten things I like about my job:

10. The ability to work when, how often, and how much I want. With the money I earn, I only *need* 6 hours a month to pay all of my bills, bank a little, and have spending money.

9. The wonderful places I get to see. I get to visit swanky hotels and restaurants. Places I’d never go to on my own. I can relax in luxury AND get paid for it.

8. I get to pamper myself. Bi-weekly manicures and pedicures are a must as is monthly hair colouring/cutting/styling.

7. I own lingerie now. I’ve always loved lingerie, but never saw a reason to own or wear any. Now I get paid to have it.

6. Motivation to be healthy. I used to yoyo up and down in weight from unhealthily underweight to normal weight. Now I stay at a normal weight because looking like a skeleton is not what most guys want. I keep my BMI around 19 now.

5. My job is fun. I don’t mean that the sex is great, because it isn’t always. I enjoy the job itself and have a good time at work even if the fun isn’t always pleasure based.

4. I get to meet interesting people from all walks of life. I get to learn so many things about people, the world, life, you name it.

3. The money. I touched on this before, but the money is great. It allows me to pursue whatever I want as a hobby.

2. I enjoy making other people happy, and in this job I know I do exactly that. I give it my all every single time I go to work because my job is to make sure the client feels special, wanted, valued, and pleased.  And that makes me feel amazing.

1. Self confidence. I know that in reality, my job is no more or less empowering than any other but the amount of confidence I gain from it is indescribable. And because of this, I’m a happier person overall.

Five things I hate about my job:

5. I have to commute, as I don’t live in the area that I work.  It takes me about an hour to get to my usual service area.

4. I’m not really able to plan ahead as much as I’d like to.  For instance, I’ll think I have X, Y, and Z days off and then the day before X I’ll get bookings for all 3 days.

3. Clients who expect a PSE (porn star expirience) when they’ve requested a GFE (girlfirend expirience). They are different price points and you are not getting something for nothing.

2. Clients with WAY over the top egos. This includes:

a. Men who think they need large condoms and clearly do not AND get offended when I use regular sized condoms on them. If you like to believe you need a magnum and don’t, that’s fine. But when you expect me to compromise my safety to inflate your ego…no.

b. Clients who flex during intercourse, come on really? I don’t mind if you think you’re a stud in bed…but FLEXING? No.  This is not American Psycho.

c. Men that think they’re going to “loosen me up” and say it repeatedly during the act. Yeah okay buddy.

d. Clients who demand facials during a GFE. That’s a PSE offering only.  If that’s not okay with you, feel free to use another escort but getting arrogant with me telling me I’m ‘just a whore’ and should have no personal preferences or limitations because you’re paying me…well, go fuck yourself.

1. Bad hygiene. Showering isn’t hard, especially since we offer you one that is fully stocked with washcloths and soap. It only takes 3 minutes of your hour to clean yourself well enough. Please do it.

And for the love of god, make sure you wash your penis/testicles. I’ve found that cut men are LESS LIKELY to do this and it’s really made me come to internally cringe when I see a client is cut. Cleaner my ass. Wash your dick, cut or not. It’s not hard (no pun intended), rub it around in the shower for fuck sake. I get that (most of) you didn’t choose whether or not you’re cut but no matter WHAT skin you do (or don’t) have you DO choose whether or not you’re a stank ass.

Five random facts about me:

5. I am very outspoken. I try to be more passive and keep it to myself in my job since it earns more tips but I have very strong opinions.

4. I am an artist. I may not feel I am a very good artist, but I am one.  And I make money at it.

3. I love to cook. I don’t love to eat, but I love to cook. I think it falls in line with the whole art thing. I just love to create.

2. I only wear makeup for work. I don’t like it off the clock.

1. I don’t have the ‘perfect body’. I have a scar from my surgery and a few remnant stretch marks. I make the same rate as girls that model professionally. How and why? Confidence and skill. It’s all you need. Don’t let physical flaws hold you back.  This job is at least 75% attitude and confidence.