I do not really do phones – I do have a data only cell, but seeing as 99% of y’all can email me from your cell phone (either by sending an MMS to my email address or using email on your phone) I tend to only give the number out for absolutely necessary situations.  I cover why I don’t use the phone for bookings in the “Meeting Melissa Mariposa” post (screened clients and providers may request the password by emailing me).  If this makes you nervous, simply read my reviews.

My Days
There are two typical days for me and while the times vary a bit, I’m hoping this can give some clarification on the best times to contact me.

Schedule A
4am-10am Studio Hours
10am-2pm Nap
2pm-10pm Available for answering email, webcam shows, and visits.

Schedule B
10am-2pm Studio Hours
2pm-10pm Available for answering emails, webcam shows, and visits

All of this being said – I am ALWAYS available during whatever hours you need me to be if you set it up in advance.  You can email me on Monday setting up a noon visit for Tues no problem, but you can’t email me Monday at 8am asking for noon.  I can take same day visits with at least 5-8 hour notice.  This may sound steep but I have a longer than average commute as well.

When I check my email
I check my email before I go into my studio, before my nap, and when I wake up.  I have my email constantly open if I am home, and on my phone and iPad for when I am not.  If your email isn’t pressing, I will wait to email you from home.  This isn’t because your email isn’t important to me but I would rather sit down and type a personal response to you, and sometimes many of your questions are answered by links in my signature (which only appear when I mail you from home).

I stumbled upon this beauty whilst enjoying a morning coffee and for whatever reason, read it in its entirety.  And it moved me, I mean really moved me. But not in a good way.  I will admit to having a few laughs – but only at the absurdity of it.  What it has done has prompted me to write my seven tips re: becoming and escort.  The tips are at the very bottom for those who prefer to skip the snark

Are you prepared to put aside the emotions that come with being with man you really don’t know? You should enjoy these types of activities a lot, but you shouldn’t be considered an addicted person to what you do when you become an escort.

First off, let me thank you for putting “become an escort” in bold every single time you type it.  So basically what you’re saying is “This is not a career for sex addicts”.  Thanks for those sage words!  Let’s continue…

Becoming an escort is nothing like starting college or starting a job at a local fast food chain.

You mean no free meals or a polyester uniform?!  Aww…

Many times you will discover that man might start to fall in love with you because the service you provide is great.

Yes, that’s the first impression of a client you should give to a woman.  Sounds like you’re really laying the groundwork for a smart, career provider (please note the sarcasm).  This is horrible advice!  I have had maybe two clients I’ve suspected of being in love with me (or have outright said it) in 3 years.  I’ve also been clear about the fact I do not date clients (ever) which probably helps.

Of course, large amounts of money is the main benefit of becoming an escort but there is also the fact that it can quickly become a fun job.

They continue to lay out how “fun” it is.  They do not mention the physical downsides (pain/discomfort, frequent yeast infections from condoms/lube, general fatigue) but rather things like

It can be fun to develop friendships with some of your clients.  It can be fun to be pampered by a man who enjoys your company. It can be fun to be able to drink champagne and eat expensive food in the best restaurants. It can be fun to travel to different locations to be with a certain man.

and then go onto even say it’s fun to travel to different locations to be WITH a certain man.  This is building girls up for things that will probably not happen for them.  They describe high end sugar daddies, not clients of mid-priced escorts.  Don’t get me wrong – most of us travel, eat in nice restaurants, and get gifts, but they are treats not the norm (as this article makes it out to be).  Not to mention the “to be with a certain man” line, which seems to me that they’re implying you’ll  have your Pretty Woman scenario¹.  Spare me.  Pretty Woman was a movie and not realistic at all.  Many women DO leave the business and date clients, however those clients are usually regular men not millionaires.  If you want Pretty Woman to be your life, buy the DVD and get a day job.

The fun of becoming an escort should also be as exciting as the money you earn from becoming an escort.

Yes, you should look at your job as one big party and only focus on the money!  That sounds healthy for sure!  Tip 1:  The job is about more than just money.  It gives you an incomparable freedom to work for yourself, explore your sensuality, celebrate your body, and meet people from all walks of life.

The taboo life style is very exciting

Go fuck yourself.  I don’t even have anything else to say about that.

There are shows on cable that show how exciting the life style of being a companion.  These shows show the best side of the life style.

You mean like your article?

Feeling sexy and admired is the best part of any job and when you become an escort it is the main appeal to the career. You are able to use your looks for more than just modeling and you are able to enjoy a higher pay checks based on your looks and your body all the time.  You will feel admired also by woman who don’t look anything like you but wish they did, because you get everything you want and you get paid to have it.

Are you kidding me?  Don’t get me wrong – I get to feel sexy and admired.  AT WORK.  And only at work.  The rest of the time I live in a world where I took the precaution of living an hour away from my incall so I don’t run into a client with his wife at the grocery store.  I don’t get to feel “envied” by other women because I would NEVER tell another woman². 

!!!Personal story alert!!!
I once made the mistake of telling a friend of 10 years about my job.  They had been staying with me at the time, and had fallen on hard times.  They knew where my emergency/legal/bail-a-friend-out-of-jail fund was kept (a locked safe) and they stole every penny.  It was a four figure amount, and while karma did literally come total their life, the loss of the 10 year friend was really the worst part.  Tip 2:  Select who you tell about your job very carefully. The exception is a partner/spouse – tell them 100% of the time.  Never hide something like this from someone you are sleeping with, as it’s their body and they have the right to know who/what they are sleeping with.  They also have the right to not sleep with you and to take away their bodily integrity isn’t right.

Many times your clients are just looking for a woman that can provide a girlfriend like experience. When you find a client who is searching for this, the guy might be willing to pamper you with nice things even before you provide him with your services. Some of the clients you will have, might be lonely and just looking for someone to share a good time with. You are able to provide them with just what they are looking for. I’m sure you have heard of escorts flying to different locations just to be with a long time client they enjoy spending time with. It can be the same thing for you as well.

Yes girls that’s right, all of that unrealistic shit you see in the media is real.  No really, it’s real because we say it is!  Stereotypes galore!

If you are the type of person that dislikes the normal 9 to 5 job then being an escort will be perfect for you.

Translation:  If you are lazy with no dedication then why not put your ass on the market!  Step right up!  In BOLD.  Tip 3: Don’t be surprised at the long hours.  Take them in stride, because even with all of the time you invest you still make more than the average joe.  But don’t forget to pay your taxes.

You get to have no strings attached–This is the main appeal for most woman who start in this industry. If you enjoy hooking up with respectful gentleman, becoming an escort will allow you to do just that and get paid for it. You get to enjoy the act of being intimate without having to become attached to the person or having the person become overly attached to you.

My head just exploded.

It’s true there are higher paid escorts and there are lower paid escorts in the industry. You are able to make both kinds of money.

What?  Just…what?

Either way you will be able to make good money in less time, doing something simple and fun.

Haha simple and fun.  Yes endless hours of sifting through junk emails, reading/answering legit emails, screening clients, advertising, preparing to work (makeup, hair, nails, clothes, etc), working, doing laundry in the sink by hand (as you tend to have a lot of delicates as an escort).  Just for more simple fun I like to add in doing my own site (and managing 2 others) on top of a 1-1.5 hour commute (each way).  Super fun !  Tip 3 addendum:  Seriously, you still make a great living I promise.  All of the blood, sweat, and tears you put into the “non-work” side of escorting pays off.

If you are working for yourself and are an escort discreetly, it is perfectly okay to pretend that you are on a phone call with a friend before you even begin to have your session. The idea is that he sees you on the phone and hears you talking and knows right away the he can’t get away with being hurtful or violent.

NO NO NO!!! IN BOLD.  NO.  You need to have an ACTUAL safecall.  There are PLENTY of places to find safecall.  DM me on twitter if you need help locating a safecall!

You shouldn’t feel that you are cheating or betraying the man you might love simply because you spent unforgettable time with your client. Your job should be fun. Letting your client pleasure you should also be fun. You shouldn’t have to fake it all the time, enjoy it and let go of yourself while you enjoying it.

That’s pretty fucking asinine.  God forbid someone feels a bit guilty and maybe wants to save orgasms for at home. Tip 4:  If you’re in a relationship be open an honest with your partner about your job, how it makes you feel, and how he/she feels about it.  An open line of communication and honesty is integral.  If your partner feels he needs to see other people to be with you, evaluate that carefully and do not rush into a decision.  Likewise if a partner decides they can’t be with you and you have to choose between the job and them.  It is your life and you have to decide if a job (or potential career) is worth possibly throwing away the person you want(ed) to be with for the rest of your life.  YOU MAY DECIDE IT IS, but thinking on it for awhile is never a bad idea!

You might decide you want richer man over those that are poor. Or you might want to work for younger men that don’t have a lot of money. The choice is yours.

O…kay.

Safety is difficult when you are working as an escort on your own. You might not be telling anyone about your job, so your risk of getting hurt is high, since no one will know what you are doing, with who you are and where.

Are they under some kind of assumption that the average agency provides proper security?  Tip 5:  Screen and screen hard.  Get a safecall or driver.  Join Date-Check and P411 (RS2K if it’s prominent in your area).  Familiarise yourself with the sites.  Join providerbuzz.com.  Check your references – I have received FAKE references before.  ALWAYS verify your references are REAL before seeing a client!

Sadly, most escorts who work for themselves don’t screen their dates. This can be a huge issue if the guy doesn’t like how you preform the tasks he tells you to do.

Wonder where they got “most” as I’ve seen plenty of backpage and cityvibe girls who screen.  Those who don’t seem to advertise as “non-pro” and only do this “once in awhile” when “desperate” which is not exactly who this article is supposedly geared towards.

B. The men are screened before they get to you- Instead of having to screen each client yourself ,he is screened by the company. The screening process might be very long, so that the company is sure you are safe with the man your are entertaining.

That’s a load of shit.  There are some GREAT agencies that DO screen well but the average agency?  Yeah, no.  I don’t really see them as a trustworthy source of screening.  I won’t take references from agencies, that’s for sure.

The first thing you need as an escort is to keep your body looking amazing. Having a well-toned body is very important. You want to be in shape or have very little fat on you. It is true there are escorts that are on the heavy side, but most are light in weight. Clients prefer different things, so the most important thing is to make your body be healthy for you.

But I thought this job was simple and fun! And I thought you said that clients just wanted to spend time with me and pamper me!  What do you mean I need to be a supermodel!?  Again, not true.  Ever hear the saying, “There’s someone for everyone”?  It applies to escorting – I can think of several mature women and BBWs that clean house – and that’s just off the top of my head.  Tip 6:  Love and embrace your body, curves, bones, scars – whatever.  Exude sexiness.  Wear clothing and makeup that flatter you.  Always advertise with honesty and integrity.  Never be ashamed!  You will get clients, I assure you.

You want to take pictures that show how amazing your body is and how soft your skin is.

This translates to “fat girl camera angle” and “don’t forget to airbrush” – again, not true.  You need GOOD photos, for sure, but they also need to be REAL.  The person in the photo needs to be the person that arrives at the door.

The sixth thing you need to be an escort is the willingness to try something at least once before giving up on it

They’re subtly telling you to try anal.  Probably because it brings in more money.

The second way you can prevent drama is to never let the money change hands. Instead have your client place the money on a table or somewhere else. You can also prevent any legal drama by considering the money you are paid a donation and not actual payment or a wage you earned for the services you offered.

This will not prevent you from being arrested in a sting.  Period.  Tip 7:  Ask around for an escort friendly lawyer and bail bond company (just in case).  Put aside an emergency fund of at least $1000 with a family member in the event you are mistakenly arrested for legally spending time with someone.

The fifth way to protect your identity and prevent drama is to keep your personal life out of the conversation. There is honestly no reason for the client to know about your family and what is going on in your life. Instead get the conversations simple and ask them to talk about themselves. You can talk about simple generic things like the fact that you are in college but you shouldn’t say what college and when your classes are and how often you go. Being overly open isn’t good for this job.

I don’t disagree with this entirely – but you have to let a little out, otherwise your clients will find you boring.  I found that when I didn’t talk about my life and life experience as much I wasn’t described as “bubbly” or “vibrant” the way I am now.  Injecting a bit of your soul into the job is a necessity.  Be real without being revealing.

So lets sum it up shall we?

Tip 1: The job is about more than just money.  It gives you an incomparable freedom to work for yourself, explore your sensuality, celebrate your body, and meet people from all walks of life.

Tip 2: Select who you tell about your job very carefully. The exception is a partner/spouse – tell them 100% of the time.  Never hide something like this from someone you are sleeping with, as it’s their body and they have the right to know who/what they are sleeping with.  They also have the right to not sleep with you and to take away their bodily integrity isn’t right.

Tip 3: Don’t be surprised at the long hours.  Take them in stride, because even with all of the time you invest you still make more than the average joe.  But don’t forget to pay your taxes.   Tip 3 addendum: Seriously, you still make a great living I promise.  All of the blood, sweat, and tears you put into the “non-work” side of escorting pays off.

Tip 4: If you’re in a relationship be open an honest with your partner about your job, how it makes you feel, and how he/she feels about it.  An open line of communication and honesty is integral.  If your partner feels he needs to see other people to be with you, evaluate that carefully and do not rush into a decision.  Likewise if a partner decides they can’t be with you and you have to choose between the job and them.  It is your life and you have to decide if a job (or potential career) is worth possibly throwing away the person you want(ed) to be with for the rest of your life.  YOU MAY DECIDE IT IS, but thinking on it for awhile is never a bad idea!

Tip 5: Screen and screen hard.  Get a safecall or driver.  Join Date-Check and P411 (RS2K if it’s prominent in your area).  Familiarise yourself with the sites.  Join providerbuzz.com.  Check your references – I have received FAKE references before.  ALWAYS verify your references are REAL before seeing a client!

Tip 6: Love and embrace your body, curves, bones, scars – whatever.  Exude sexiness.  Wear clothing and makeup that flatter you.  Always advertise with honesty and integrity.  Never be ashamed!  You will get clients, I assure you.

Tip 7: Ask around for an escort friendly lawyer and bail bond company (just in case).  Put aside an emergency fund of at least $1000 with a family member in the event you are mistakenly arrested for legally spending time with someone.

1. which you of course need because you’re just a damaged hooker right?
2. Other providers excluded

A lot of people have been asking why I started a reference ribbon project when reference are so commonplace in the United States.  Well, first that’s not really true but it’s also not related!  The reason for the reference ribbon campaign starting was twofold.

I was living in Vancouver at the time where screening is a lot less prominent (and for many, non-existent) due to the legality of the profession¹.  As you can imagine it makes the safety issue significantly higher.  Unfortunately some clients are accustomed to have to provide little to no information, and despite the safety issues, are resistent to screening mostly citing privacy. Being from the US, I was accustomed to screening and still wanted to while in Canada.  My screening options there was considered by some on message boards as “ridiculous”².

One of the screening methods I offered that seemed to be a nice middle ground however, was references.  In Vancouver it was more of a “community” with several forums where providers and hobbyists mingled [[While we have that here in the US, I've never seen any as tight knit and laid back]].  The problem with references actually, were a few of the women.  They didn’t want to “share clients”, or they got outright jealous.  I thought that was downright childish, and made that public knowledge.  I wanted the other ladies in our community to know that they never had to afraid to ask me for a reference, even if some providers weren’t so friendly.  I decided maybe some kind of “ribbon” would be the way to go and went to work.  While working on it, the second reason came to light, and is a lot more somber.  Two providers died mysteriously (less than six months apart) and both cases are unsolved³.  This hit home for a lot of hobbyists and providers, as the first was known well by a few.  It was then I uploaded my little one page site and banner, and launched the campaign.

I started to see the ribbon pop up on sites all over, women all over the US and Canada I had never heard of.  I had wanted to expand it and create a listing sooner, but the time just wasn’t there.  I have finally done that – and while it’s nothing fancy at least it’s growing!  I am shocked, pleased, and touched that my little campaign has reached so far and I hope that it continues to grow and help women stay safe.

1. more grey area, less cared about by police – victimless crime, bigger fish to fry, etc al
2. though most were fine with it and I never had any in person complaints – I was actually quite successful there and still have demand that makes me want to go back and that’s another entry!
3. I am not at all saying they were murdered by clients, but the possibility is there and a very sobering thought

1.  Where the hell have you been and what happened to your blog?
Great question!  2011 has been a busy year.  January was an interesting start with oral surgery where I lost 5 (not very important) teeth.  After that I lost 2 roommates and had to adjust from living in a house full of friends to just one roommate and the cats the others left behind (thanks guys!).  I am still working and writing!  My phone and ipad are full of notes I make for this blog.  I would love to write some things for ladies new to the industry, some general thoughts on ‘activist’ topics, stuff on travel, things for the men…there’s just not enough time in the day.

As far as what specifically happened to the blog, it fell to the wayside with all of the life changes.  As it’s fall I’ll probably have time to put down at least some of these ideas I’ve had for months.  Here’s hoping!

2.  I’m a potential client, what should I expect to find here?
I swear more than I probably should.  Honestly though, it’s my blog about many things related to sex.  If you’re blushing at the word fuck maybe you are in the wrong place .  Oh, you’ll also find my thoughts on a variety of topics related to escorting, some FAQ type deals, and maybe a how-to guide every now and again!

3.  Why don’t you link this blog on your site?
While I don’t hide my site on here or vice versa, I don’t find it necessary to directly link the two on my professional site.  My email signature has a link to it, that’s more than enough for me.  And on that note

4. I want to book a visit with you
missy-mariposa.com – by all means

Do you douche? Regularly?
Fuck no.  That stuff is HORRIBLE for your vagina.  pH balance anyone?  It’s like a pool!

What’s your opinion on gay/lesbian marriage?
Has no effect on my personal life.  Would not affect my (non-existent) marriage in any way, shape, or form.  If your marriage is so insecure that 2 dudes getting married affects it in any way, you need to take a step back and question WHY.

Want to get me started on sanctity of straight marriage?  I’m an escort for fucksake.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to sit here and criticise people for what they do in their bedroom.  I do not care what goes on, how many escorts you see, how many affairs you’ve had – this is YOUR BUSINESS.  And getting married is theirs.How often, or do you, go commando, aka wearing no underwear?
Always!  I have tons of bras, love bras, sleep in bras, sex in bras, you name it!  But panties?  No thanks!  I never wear short skirts and under long dresses who is going to know?  And why would I want pantylines anyway?

That being said, if you ever wish to gift me underwear I like thongs.

Have you ever given a guy head while he was driving?
Sure have!

Do you like music to be on in the background during sex? If so, do you have favorite songs/artists? Is it different music than what you like when driving or working?
Not in my personal life.  In my professional life it is a MUST.  I do not mix my “home music” with “work music”.  That’s not to say I don’t enjoy my work music (because I absolute do), it just means that I (like everyone else) don’t want to think about work when I’m not there

Do you like what you do?
You enjoy anything you’re good at.

What is your favorite way to meet someone for the first time?
I want to make the joke “the internet” or “with an envelope in hand” but I’m not THAT much of a smart ass.  Honestly uh, I usually stumble into things in weird places.  I’m always the person who met their (in)significant other in a strange/weird/funny place.

What is your favourite place where you like to be?
Downtown of a major metro.  Preferably Vancouver, NYC, or London.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
This question made me smile because awhile back I *did* change my name.  While I obviously can’t tell you what I changed it from/to it was a needed change and one that I am beyond happy with.

How often do you run into first time clients who suddenly experience performance problems and what do you do to salvage that kind of situation?
Salvage?  I hardly think a little anxiety is a destroyer of sessions.  I work with the client to achieve what he set out to achieve.  And FYI, it’s not just first time clients.  And I’ve never had an “issue” ruin a session first time or not

Does size matter?
Nope! In more ways than one. One of the best lovers of my life was 375lbs and 5 inches. Extremes in one direction or the other can make things difficult but honestly, nope for me it doesn’t really mean anything. I can accomodate a 1 inch or 13 inch penis.

When/Where are you going for your next vacation?
I’m not sure yet! You’d have to email me with more details as I do schedule tours around demand. I have a “request a city” feature on my site as I am not psychic

I’ve seen your blog but not your website. Where should I e-mail you?
missy-mariposa.com is my site, missy@missy-mariposa.com is how you get a hold of me after checking out said site

Do you hang out socially in your free time with any clients, or call or email them just to chat?
No I do not. They are clients, if I hung out with them for free WHY would they pay me for my time? I like them as people but what I sell is time. I do have specials for birthdays though, and I NEVER mind if *they* email me casually as long as they know I may not reply right away. Aside from my job, I do have a life of my own after all

Hair or bare? Shave or Wax? How old when you shaved/waxed for the first time?
I was jailbait when I started removing hair down there. Currently have a landing strip – shaved/shaped with an electric razor. I have done it all – I used to brazillian wax but eventually started getting tons of unexplainable ingrown hairs so I switched to wet/foam shaving which took care of it for awhile (and yes I’ve used EVERY remedy I could find). Finally decided to go for the landing strip with an electric razor and tada, no more ingrowns

Have you ever had sex with black men?
Of course

What service do you use to run background checks on potential clients?
I accept P411, Date-Check, and Roomservice2000. There are other methods I use to screen clients, however for security reasons I cannot share.

How are you sexy?
Poise, confidence, wit, and charm. Not to be arrogant or anything. Oh and having a nice body probably helps a bit?

I know size doesn’t matter, but have you ever had the opportunity to have sex with a very well hung guy and done it simply because he was well hung?
I had a long term boyfriend awhile back who’s size I had no idea of until we had sex. I had asked and he said “average” or “slightly above average”. Well he was 10 inches and it was girthy enough to barely fit in my hand. Having that experience I would not seek out another large man intentionally but would never turn down one who came a’calling. Personally though my FAVOURITE size is between 6 and 8 inches with average to above average girth

Angelina Jolie or Gina Gershone?
Gina Gershone, no question.

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1.  Man Money on fire.


I’d heard the phrase burning money before but this is a new one…

I like candles.  If you’ve ever seen me professionally, you know this.  In my bathroom I have 2 recessed tealight holders, each holds 4 candles.  You can wash your hands, use mouthwash, and leave your envelope in the basket without ever turning on the light.

It was a normal morning, the client had just come out of the restroom and we were having a nice chat when I smelled something on fire.  I had no idea what it could be but could not visually identify anything so I went into the only other room with candles – the bathroom – only to see a large blaze.

Apparently without noticing the client had set the envelope down directly on one of the candle holders.  I threw the envelope into the sink and turned on the water.  Shockingly despite the blaze, most of the money was intact.  $60 was not salvageable and I had a fun time putting the rest through the a money order machine while about 8 people stared at me probably wondering what the hell happened to that money.

2.  My fist and half of my forearm has been inside of someone’s body.

This was something, that even as a bisexual woman, I never thought would happen.  I love the idea of fisting (giving, not receiving!) but it came to fruition last year.  It was pretty awesome.

3.  I have had sex with more women professionally than I have in my personal life.

This is a sad fact I think, but something that often gets asked and surprises people when I answer.  I just don’t pursue women (or men) these days and haven’t in about 2 years so honestly, it’s not a surprise at this point – at least to me
4.  Giving Greek can be incredibly messy if the person has no idea how to prepare.

No picture.  For your benefit, really.  I don’t feel I really need to elaborate either!

5.  I am a normal person and very down to earth.

Yes that’s me!  I went camping at Kentucky Lake earlier this year.

It really seems to surprise people that despite my rates I don’t dump my money into designer clothes, handbags, world travel*, and generally useless crap.  Instead we chat investments, savings, business plans, and cars.

Yes, cars.  I love cars.  I have a salvage that was my project (it’s done now), and a fun car with a turbo that I treated myself to earlier in the year after my old daily driver was stolen (long story).  I really enjoy talking cars/driving so don’t be afraid to bring them up.  My main interest is imports, but I can hold my own with domestics too

On a similar note – people are also surprised to hear I pay my taxes.  I don’t know why, I guess they feel if I don’t “have to” why should I?  Well, if I ever want to finance anything appropriate for my income bracket, I’m going to have to have proof of how much I made right?  Besides, it’s good karma and just the right thing to do.  Sheesh, I’m pretty sure I preach that one hard enough everyone already knew that anyway

*I have already been almost everywhere I want to go.  I have lived in 3 countries.  I have no desire to “see the world” as what I haven’t seen (and don’t already have plans to see) I have no interest in.

I asked the help of other providers, and as such I will be putting their banners at the bottom of this entry.  Make sure to click the more link to see some of extremely sexy ladies who helped make this guide possible.

DO:

• Be respectful on the phone or in emails.  A nice email that says more than “45, male, attractive, 6 foot, need appointment Sunday at 3″ goes a very long way.

  Introduce yourself, be polite as you would with anyone else you had never met.  Remember she is a person and would probably appreciate knowing more about you than your age and height before agreeing to meet you, a stranger.

• Read the provider’s website.  The night before your appointment give it another look over, so you know how and where she wants you to leave the donation and any other important ‘policies’ she may have.  If she has an etiquette page, give it a read as well.  It’s there to make things go smoothly for everyone involved.

  I’m not saying you have to sit there and memorise everything she’s ever said, but it’s written to make your appointment go smoothly.  The website is not only a marketing tool for the provider, but a tool for you to use to put yourself at ease.

• THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES! Call the provider from the car if you need any location details clarified.  Do not call in the lobby of the hotel, her building, or anywhere that you can be overheard. Most women are trying to maintain discretion, so you’ll want to have any kind of buzzer code (or directions to her hotel room) before you even walk inside so it looks like you know exactly where you’re going.

  Do not ever use her working name at the buzzer, do not ever use it at her door.  Providers generally want it to look like an old friend is coming to visit and so they need you need to be discreet.  Buzz up and say something simple.  I asked my visitors to buzz up and say “Hey it’s me,” and I would then buzz them up without replying (they would hear a beep as I pressed the entry button).

  I did not take questions at the buzzer, I did not speak.  If buzzer time comes and you have a question, walk away from the building (again, get in your car if possible) and call the lady’s private cell phone to ask.  Never talk to hotel staff, concierges or anyone around and never mention a woman’s working name outside of your car or her apartment/hotel room.  This is a good way to raise suspicion and stress out a lady.

• Make sure you know her restrictions and respect them.  EXAMPLE:  If she offers CBJ, do not ask for or expect BBBJ.  No matter what may have read in a review, it’s really just best to respect what you’ve seen on her site or ads no matter what rumours have surfaced.  Please remember sometimes reviews are done with a “check box” format and it’s very easy to check the WRONG box between CBJ and BBBJ without even noticing.

  You risk offending a lady by asking for a service she has never advertised providing.  Provider’s are not oversensitive – however there are a lot of assholes who try to ask/push for services that she does offer.  It can put a woman on the defensive, because it has to.  When someone tries to push for services you don’t offer, you go into “protective” mode to avoid being forced.  Do not risk ending up putting a lady on the defensive and being lumped in with those guys by making a simple mistake based on a review.

• Take a shower either before the appointment or at it if offered.  Beforehand, please trim your fingers and toenails.  Being scratching someone with ragged toenails/fingernails is a big turn off.  A good tip I’ve heard is to prepare for it as you would any other date where you think you are getting sex.

  Trimming or shaving (your preference) anything you expect a mouth to go on or around is a plus.  It’s can serve as a sign for providers that you want certain areas kissed/licked.  If you don’t at the very least trim, many providers will take it as a sign you aren’t interested in that particular act.
  
  Make sure that you trim/shave THE DAY BEFORE the appointment in case you cut yourself!!. The last thing you want (safety wise) is an open cut in your genital area before sex with ANY new partner. Day after stubble is much better than a cut!

• Following up with the last ‘tip’:  Ask for what you want, how you want it.  I don’t mean for you to bark orders, but if you aren’t clear about what you want you may end up disappointed.  Perhaps you have not trimmed or shaved the area between your testicles and anus¹ but would like a touch there.  Let her know! If you do not ask her for what you want and end up disappointed, do not write a negative review – that’s VERY unfair to her as she is not a mind reader. If you do not ask for what you want and end up disappointed it is NOT her fault.

  Along the same line, PLEASE tell the provider if it’s “not going to happen” for you.  Most will do whatever they can to make it happen and it goes a long way if a man says something and you two can discuss what else she can do for you in the time left.  Perhaps a massage would be nice, or just laying in bed talking.  But try to avoid frustrating you and her if the plumbing is not running well that day.

• Bring your own condoms JUST IN CASE.  Make sure they are in an UNOPENED BOX.  Be prepared and expect to use hers as there are men who tamper with them.  The exception to this would be if you are an irregular size or have allergies.  Then you should be prepared to use yours after inspection by the provider.  This is not a slight against your character, unfortunately there are many men before you who have fucked it up for all the good ones.
• Mention your allergies (if you have them).  Many ladies burn scented candles, burn incense, wear scented lotion, or have pets.  Some women also smoke.  It is in your best interest to ask these things if you’re affected by any of these types of things.  Providers do not want you to be miserable, sniffling, sneezing, or worse during an appointment.  Many are happy to do extra clean up or air out their apartments if it will help you be comfortable.

  I have a field on my form asking if you are scent sensitive so I can plan accordingly.  I often burn light incense, or candles/oils.  If you are scent sensitive I will air out my incall for an entire day before our visit and use unscented toiletries the day of.  We really do want you to be happy, you just have to let us know things like this!

• Clean up your residence or hotel room if having her over for an outcall.  Even if you just stick things in a closet, it’s the thought that counts.  This one works both ways.  You expect a lady to have a clean incall that smells nice without stacks of dishes…we expect the same.

DONT:

• Brush your teeth or floss within 30 minutes of your appointment.  It may tear the lining of your mouth increasing exposure to STIs.  Brush your teeth the morning of the appointment, avoid pungent foods, and use mouthwash or gum.

  If you do eat pungent foods such as garlic or onions before the appointment please just politely apologise in advance because no amount of mouthwash or gum will cover it up completely.  It’s better to say, “Hey I’m sorry I had some lasagna for lunch and didn’t even think of the garlic” than to surprise a woman with it later.

• Slather yourself in scent.  My rule is this:  If you want a tongue to touch it then cologne, aftershave, or deodorant should not be on it.  Not only can this taste awful, ingesting certain tolietries could cause stomach aches or worse for the lady.

  A touch of cologne behind the ears and on the wrists is fine, and deodorant on your underarms is great – but on your chest, testicles, or penis…nope!  I will say this though:  A little cologne in the ass crack itself is fine if you aren’t looking to receive DATO.

• Barter or say you are short of the donation and expect the appointment to still take place.  If a woman’s rates are non-negotiable, respect that.  If you decide to attempt to haggle despite knowing her donation is firm be prepared to be asked to leave.

  Some women do have negotiable rates.  This will be mentioned on her site or in an ad – negotiate how and when she wants to.  Some women also run specials or have discounts.  Do not try to ask for these things if they are expired or do not apply to you.For example, I run a military discount (10%).  I had a client who draft dodged (no joke) who tried to get it.  I was actually pretty upset.  Don’t do things like that and expect a lady to be impressed after.  I still completed the appointment and gave the best service I could, but I did deny his request for a repeat appointment.  I couldn’t get past the fact he wanted a military discount after draft dodging.

• Use her toilet for anything except peeing, no matter what.  Do it in the hotel lobby, do it in a nearby restaurant.  I do not care where you do it as long as it’s not her bathroom.

  While we’re at it – please do not pee in the shower.  We know when you do this and we have to clean our shower every time you do. It’s fine at home, I’m sure most people do it – but not in someone’s shower that they have to clean after each use.  I don’t want to clean up your pee

  On a similar note, don’t shave your body in the shower either for the same reason!

• Bring food, drink, or flowers UNLESS you’ve cleared it with her first or her website says it’s okay. I know these are typically nice surprises, but they are not always nice for those who cannot have them.  It may make her feel awkward if she needs to turn them down either due to allergies or a special diet (i.e. diabetes, celiac).

  This includes alcohol – many women do not drink with clients (even if the bottle is sealed) so clear it with her first if her website does not make it clear.On the flip side, many women LOVE these things so do not write off the idea of bringing them just because you can’t surprise her – just ASK!

• Bring up other escorts or forums.  This tends to turn into a gossip session, rather than casual conversation.  Likewise, if she starts gossiping about other escorts/forums then try to steer the conversation in another direction.

  Try not to talk negatively about other ladies if possible.  If a lady did something extremely unsafe in your presence (offered you BBFS for example, or you saw drug paraphernalia) or was non-discreet (called a number you said not to) this is the exception.It is FINE to inform providers of such things but gossip = bad.

• Ask a girl how many clients she has seen that day or if you’re the first client of the day. Even if her answer is what you’re wanting to hear, this isn’t really appropriate conversation material. While most girls are happy to talk about their start in the industry, many are not. Let them bring it up if they want to.

  Similarly, do not ask personal questions about her real life. She’ll volunteer information she wants to, but do not pry.  There’s a fine line between curiosity/”getting to know you” and being invasive.  You don’t have to tip toe or anything of the sort, just use common sense.This is another one that works both ways, if she starts to pry – simply steer the conversation elsewhere or tell her up front you are not comfortable with the questions.

• Ask for BBFS or BB Greek.  Even if it’s to “test her reaction”, don’t do it.  You may end up offending her, ruining a great session, and costing yourself a good reference in the future.Not to mention, you may scare her.  If you’re asking her – who else are you asking (likewise, if a lady offers you – who else is she offering?).  Saying it was a “test” is a horrible excuse.  I cannot describe the feeling of ice water through your veins when you hear the words “without a condom” in reference to vaginal or anal sex in this industry.If you ask this in an initial email (or phone call) – even to “test” her – you will ruin any rapport you had and really any chance you had of ever meeting the lady in real life.

  Anyone who mentions BBFS or BB Greek I may reply to…but only to say that I am saddened and horrified at the request, and that I cannot continue this conversation or meet them.

• Overstay your welcome.  What you book is what you get.  While most ladies will not be staring at the clock and are lenient, most will also not want to have to ask you to leave.  It is awkward, and can make a lady feel very uncomfortable.  You are in her space, please respect that.  Do not take advantage of a lady’s generosity.  You are buying time, do not try and get something for nothing.  If you want more time, book a longer visit.  I do not stare at the clock personally, nor do I deduct showers from your time (you get one before and after).  I find it very rude to not meet me halfway by being courteous and respecting my time.  I do have plans and a life outside of our visit and while my goal is to make you happy during our visit, it is not at the cost of my other plans.





• Use a BS excuse to cancel.  If you changed your mind, just tell her.  Treat her the way you want to be treated.  Don’t under explain, don’t over explain.
  
  
  Cancel early, if you decide against the visit.  Do not wait until the absolute last second.  Remember we often turn down other appointments at the same time for you – if you have to cancel and you do it early enough we may be able to make up the lost appointment.
  
  
  
  If you need to legitimately cancel and reschedule, let her know up front you want to reschedule for X date.  This will show you are serious and makes her more likely to book with you again.
  
  
  
  If the appointment was an incall and the lady works out of a hotel, dropping her an extra $50 might be nice because she had probably already booked the room.  Personally, when I worked out of hotels I booked through Hotwire when I confirmed an appointment.  If someone canceled after that, I was out money.  Usually between $45-$70 depending on what/where I had booked.

• Promise things you won’t or can’t deliver whether it’s another appointment, a review, or some kind of present/tip.Even though a review or another appointment sound minor, I get my hopes up for reviews I am promised.  I love feedback and I love to know what I’m doing right/wrong. When you don’t deliver, it does disappoint me.  I understand things come up and life gets busy so if you had the intent and then couldn’t follow through – fine.  I do understand that.  But if you have no intent in the first place, don’t promise.

  Same goes with another appointment.  I enjoy the vast majority of my time with visitors.  If you promise another appointment “soon” – I will generally be looking forward to hearing from you again.  If I don’t hear from you, sometimes I do grow concerned about you.  Again, things come up and if you can’t it’s fine – but if you have no intent in the first place why bother?

  You owe a provider nothing aside from the donation – there is no need to try and promise her the world.
  

Hopefully this has helped you whether you’ve done this a hundred times, or two.

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1. yes, I mean your taint

At first, I was going to password protect this post to men and providers but realised that if an angry wife found this blog and wanted to read this, it’s really not that hard to pretend to be a man.

So how do you see providers and not ruin your life?  It’s really not all that hard.  It requires thinking and being one step ahead.  Paranoia and guilt are the enemy.  If you feel paranoid or guilty, you might want to re-think whether or not this is something you really should be doing.

Throwaway Cell Phone
You can get these at Walmart, and they are not that expensive.  You put minutes on it when you want to hobby and the rest of the time just keep it hidden.  If at all possible, do not hide it in your house or car.  A suspicious woman will tear apart your home and car if she has the opportunity.  A throwaway cell phone is a good indicator you may be cheating.  Make sure voicemail is disabled and every single call or text is deleted.

I don’t recommend using your real phone if your wife has access to the bill.  She WILL see what numbers you called/texted and probably call one’s she doesn’t recognise to see if a woman answers.  While this sounds “out there”, just ask the next escort you see if she’s ever been called by a wife.  I know I’ve been called, emailed, and even PMed on a review board by irate wives.

Make a second (fake) email address
Do not use your primary email address, especially if you think your wife has your password.  Make a fake one somewhere.  Hushmail, Gmail, and Yahoo are all good places (though Yahoo tends to direct a lot of provider emails to your spam folder, so check it frequently).

Choose your username wisely.  Make it something related to you (i.e. golfman93203) but not sexual (i.e. swallowmyload6969).  If your wife DOES find your secondary account it’s better that it looks non-descriptive.  I personally prefer gmail due to the ability to archive active emails (which hides them from plain site) just in case anyone DOES get in.  However if your wife uses/knows gmail she will know exactly how and where to find them.  I recommend deleting ANY emails you do not NEED to be active.

On a similar subject, make sure the password is something your wife could never guess.  Don’t use anything even close to related to what your normal passwords are.  Honestly, I suggest the Strong Password Generator.  Make sure to check the email service you’re using allows special characters before generating the password.

Cover your tracks on the internet
Even if you have your own laptop/computer make sure to ALWAYS clear the history, cache, and cookies after each time you use the browser.  Certain browsers now have “privacy modes”.  Use these, they’re great!

Do not register for any industry related sites with anything your wife could recognise.  If your name is Jim B. Jacobson your TER username should probably not be jbjacobson.  But at the same time it shouldn’t be the same as your fake email address.  You want something generic and non-sexual.  Do not use your age or race in the username.  Whiteman44 is not a good username as your wife knows you are white and 44.  Try the Username Generator if you are stuck for something good.

Do not be stupid with phone numbers
Don’t keep numbers around with lady’s working names in your phone.  That’s asking for it.  Make sure the names are the names of men.  Pick something that starts with the same letter.  Missy becomes Mike, Harmony become Harold, Eva becomes Erik, etc al.

Keeping numbers of your short list is a good idea so you don’t have to constantly risk using the PC to get them, but only if your phone is well hidden.

Believable Cover Story
Exactly as it says, you need a GOOD cover story.  If you’re overweight saying you’re at the gym isn’t a good idea unless you are actively losing weight.  Your wife will notice you are not in any better shape and that your body hasn’t changed after about a month.  You have to come up with something realistic that will not arise suspicion.  The last thing you want is your wife calling where you’re supposed to be, only to find out you aren’t there.  So think long and hard about your cover story.

Take the time to research and only choose reputable providers
Check her site, check reviews, look for paid advertising.  Make sure the people who’ve reviewed her have a good review history.  Google her name, see what you find.  You may end up spending a bit more, as reputable providers with good reputations often have higher rates – but isn’t it worth it to not ruin your life?

Remember this though – reputable providers DO screen.  If you want to limit what personal information you give to the provider, use P411 or Date-Check.  The company has the information, and you choose what providers see.

Avoid CL/Backpage style sites
I personally say that in the US you should just avoid Craigslist and Backpage or ANY similar sites.  It’s not that all of the ladies on there are not legit/reputable, it’s that there can often be a lot of LE lurking around.  Being arrested is a good way to be caught by your wife when she has to come post bail.

DO NOT PLAY WITHOUT PAYING
Do not sleep with girls you are not paying.  Why, you may ask?  It’s simple.  A girl you are paying is more than likely making her living that way.  She has as much to lose as you do if the two of you are exposed.  She is doing something that by the letter of the law can be percieved as illegal.  She faces a criminal record, fines, and potential jail time.  Women you’re paying aren’t likely to ruin their lives just to expose you to your wife.  Women you get for free are more likely to blackmail you since the only personal gain they’re getting is orgasms.  This is especially true if you make 6 figures and up and the woman knows it.

Now go out there, have fun, and don’t get caught

I saw this as a good opportunity to write a post on the differences between courtesans and escorts.  While they are part of the same field, they are not the same.  You could liken this to a surgeon not being the same as an obstetrician.  They are both doctors, but they specialise in different aspects of their field.

Let me start by saying that one is not better than the other.  The two are different and it really just comes down to “Different strokes for different folks”.

Fundamental Differences
An escort will often greet a client with a kiss, and some minor chit chat will ensue.  Normally, it won’t be much and they will get right down to business.  This chat may even occur while the client undresses, sets down his donation, and moves to the bed.  There will be some superficial connection, but what it comes down to is a the client being happy with what he sees.  Usually not much on the personal level.  An escort will focus on physically pleasuring the client ot his hearts content.

Afterward, there will usually be a bit more conversation leading up to either another shot or the end of the session.  Some do not stay the remainder of the duration.  The average booking is between 30 minutes and 2 hours.

Escorts are perfect for clients who:

• Is looking for a quickie
• Is looking for the fantasy situation of showing up, fucking, and leaving
• Want absolute “no strings attached” sex where emotions do not come into play at all
• Are hobbyists

Courtesans, on the other hand, tend to focus on the mind first and body later.  A courtesan may have wine, sparkling water, or even a fruit tray available to share at the beginning of the appointment.  Often the first portion of the appointment is spent talking – usually about his life (without going into TOO much detail of course), her past/background/education, current events, politics, or anything else that may come up.  Courtesans more often than not hold a degree, or are in the end stages working on one.¹  Many clients who hire courtesans will talk to them about their life and problems, hoping for the point of view of an uninvolved party.  Or even just an ear to listen, or shoulder to cry on.

When the courtesan feels a good connection has formed, she will progress the visit into the bedroom.  Afterwards, there’s usually a continuation of an earlier conversation and perhaps more activities if the mood is right.  Courtesans focus on both mental and physical stimulation under the belief that a psychological release can lead to a better physical one.  Also they feel the more comfortable the client is, the more open he can be behind closed doors enabling him to act out all of his deepest fantasies.

Courtesans are perfect for clients who:

• Desire a connection before intercourse
• Want to spend a longer period of time with the courtesan
• Need someone to talk to, whether on a casual level or deeper one
• Also subscribe to the belief that an emotional release first makes the physical release better

Price and Time Differences
While many escorts will offer half hour bookings, the average courtesan starts around 1 or 2 hours.

The reason for this isn’t because the courtesan wants more money, or is greedy – but because you cannot make the desired connection in 30 minutes AND allow time for the physical release.  You would use up the vast majority of the time (if not all of it) outside of the bedroom making the connection.

This does mean if you wish to see a courtesan, you will need more time and money.  There is an upside to this though.  Most escorts will allow you to book 30 min-4 hours, however the rates will simply be the 1 hour rate multiplied by the amount of hours, with the exception of 30 minutes (which usually is 2/3 the 1 hour rate).  Courtesans will often offer multi-hour discount.  I’ll use my own rates as an example.

My rate table when I was an escort:
$200/30 minutes
$250/1 hour
$375/1.5 hours
$500/2 hours
$750/3 hours
$1000/4 hours

My rate table as a courtesan:
$300/45 minutes (available for regulars only)
$350/1 hour
$500/1.5 hours
$650/2 hours
$900/3 hours
$1200/4 hours

As a courtesan, clients who book longer sessions are more often than not looking for the companionship aspect which is something I am more than happy to provide for hours at a time with a bit of fun mixed in.  With escorting, it’s a lot more physically demanding which is why I did not offer the same discounts.

I can see why the client who wrote that review was bothered.  Unfortunately the true differences between what escorts and courtesans are really aren’t that well known.  Most people probably just think “courtesan” is a good way to slap a higher price tag on the same product.  Unfortunately, as this client found out, that is not the case at all.  I say “unfortunately” because the client ended up unsatisfied, which is something that both escorts and courtesans would see as unfortunate.

In the end we’re all in the business of pleasure and satisfaction, and we’re all disappointed in ourselves when we don’t give it.

1. This does not mean escorts do not or cannot have degrees.  Many do!  And many are brilliant women.  What I’m simply saying is that a solid education is a requirement of being a courtesan due to the clientele you draw