6am snarkfest and MY seven simple tips re: becoming an escort
by Missy on Oct.25, 2011, under Entries
http://www.city-girls.com/become-an-escort.html
I stumbled upon this beauty whilst enjoying a morning coffee and for whatever reason, read it in its entirety. And it moved me, I mean really moved me. But not in a good way. I will admit to having a few laughs – but only at the absurdity of it. What it has done has prompted me to write my seven tips re: becoming and escort. The tips are at the very bottom for those who prefer to skip the snark 
Are you prepared to put aside the emotions that come with being with man you really don’t know? You should enjoy these types of activities a lot, but you shouldn’t be considered an addicted person to what you do when you become an escort.
First off, let me thank you for putting “become an escort” in bold every single time you type it. So basically what you’re saying is “This is not a career for sex addicts”. Thanks for those sage words! Let’s continue…
Becoming an escort is nothing like starting college or starting a job at a local fast food chain.
You mean no free meals or a polyester uniform?! Aww…
Many times you will discover that man might start to fall in love with you because the service you provide is great.
Yes, that’s the first impression of a client you should give to a woman. Sounds like you’re really laying the groundwork for a smart, career provider (please note the sarcasm). This is horrible advice! I have had maybe two clients I’ve suspected of being in love with me (or have outright said it) in 3 years. I’ve also been clear about the fact I do not date clients (ever) which probably helps.
Of course, large amounts of money is the main benefit of becoming an escort but there is also the fact that it can quickly become a fun job.
They continue to lay out how “fun” it is. They do not mention the physical downsides (pain/discomfort, frequent yeast infections from condoms/lube, general fatigue) but rather things like
It can be fun to develop friendships with some of your clients. It can be fun to be pampered by a man who enjoys your company. It can be fun to be able to drink champagne and eat expensive food in the best restaurants. It can be fun to travel to different locations to be with a certain man.
and then go onto even say it’s fun to travel to different locations to be WITH a certain man. This is building girls up for things that will probably not happen for them. They describe high end sugar daddies, not clients of mid-priced escorts. Don’t get me wrong – most of us travel, eat in nice restaurants, and get gifts, but they are treats not the norm (as this article makes it out to be). Not to mention the “to be with a certain man” line, which seems to me that they’re implying you’ll have your Pretty Woman scenario1. Spare me. Pretty Woman was a movie and not realistic at all. Many women DO leave the business and date clients, however those clients are usually regular men not millionaires. If you want Pretty Woman to be your life, buy the DVD and get a day job.
The fun of becoming an escort should also be as exciting as the money you earn from becoming an escort.
Yes, you should look at your job as one big party and only focus on the money! That sounds healthy for sure! Tip 1: The job is about more than just money. It gives you an incomparable freedom to work for yourself, explore your sensuality, celebrate your body, and meet people from all walks of life.
The taboo life style is very exciting
Go fuck yourself. I don’t even have anything else to say about that.
There are shows on cable that show how exciting the life style of being a companion. These shows show the best side of the life style.
You mean like your article?
Feeling sexy and admired is the best part of any job and when you become an escort it is the main appeal to the career. You are able to use your looks for more than just modeling and you are able to enjoy a higher pay checks based on your looks and your body all the time. You will feel admired also by woman who don’t look anything like you but wish they did, because you get everything you want and you get paid to have it.
Are you kidding me? Don’t get me wrong – I get to feel sexy and admired. AT WORK. And only at work. The rest of the time I live in a world where I took the precaution of living an hour away from my incall so I don’t run into a client with his wife at the grocery store. I don’t get to feel “envied” by other women because I would NEVER tell another woman2.
!!!Personal story alert!!!
I once made the mistake of telling a friend of 10 years about my job. They had been staying with me at the time, and had fallen on hard times. They knew where my emergency/legal/bail-a-friend-out-of-jail fund was kept (a locked safe) and they stole every penny. It was a four figure amount, and while karma did literally come total their life, the loss of the 10 year friend was really the worst part. Tip 2: Select who you tell about your job very carefully. The exception is a partner/spouse – tell them 100% of the time. Never hide something like this from someone you are sleeping with, as it’s their body and they have the right to know who/what they are sleeping with. They also have the right to not sleep with you and to take away their bodily integrity isn’t right.
Many times your clients are just looking for a woman that can provide a girlfriend like experience. When you find a client who is searching for this, the guy might be willing to pamper you with nice things even before you provide him with your services. Some of the clients you will have, might be lonely and just looking for someone to share a good time with. You are able to provide them with just what they are looking for. I’m sure you have heard of escorts flying to different locations just to be with a long time client they enjoy spending time with. It can be the same thing for you as well.
Yes girls that’s right, all of that unrealistic shit you see in the media is real. No really, it’s real because we say it is! Stereotypes galore!
If you are the type of person that dislikes the normal 9 to 5 job then being an escort will be perfect for you.
Translation: If you are lazy with no dedication then why not put your ass on the market! Step right up! In BOLD. Tip 3: Don’t be surprised at the long hours. Take them in stride, because even with all of the time you invest you still make more than the average joe. But don’t forget to pay your taxes.
You get to have no strings attached–This is the main appeal for most woman who start in this industry. If you enjoy hooking up with respectful gentleman, becoming an escort will allow you to do just that and get paid for it. You get to enjoy the act of being intimate without having to become attached to the person or having the person become overly attached to you.
My head just exploded.
It’s true there are higher paid escorts and there are lower paid escorts in the industry. You are able to make both kinds of money.
What? Just…what?
Either way you will be able to make good money in less time, doing something simple and fun.
Haha simple and fun. Yes endless hours of sifting through junk emails, reading/answering legit emails, screening clients, advertising, preparing to work (makeup, hair, nails, clothes, etc), working, doing laundry in the sink by hand (as you tend to have a lot of delicates as an escort). Just for more simple fun I like to add in doing my own site (and managing 2 others) on top of a 1-1.5 hour commute (each way). Super fun 
! Tip 3 addendum: Seriously, you still make a great living I promise. All of the blood, sweat, and tears you put into the “non-work” side of escorting pays off.
If you are working for yourself and are an escort discreetly, it is perfectly okay to pretend that you are on a phone call with a friend before you even begin to have your session. The idea is that he sees you on the phone and hears you talking and knows right away the he can’t get away with being hurtful or violent.
NO NO NO!!! IN BOLD. NO. You need to have an ACTUAL safecall. There are PLENTY of places to find safecall. DM me on twitter if you need help locating a safecall!
You shouldn’t feel that you are cheating or betraying the man you might love simply because you spent unforgettable time with your client. Your job should be fun. Letting your client pleasure you should also be fun. You shouldn’t have to fake it all the time, enjoy it and let go of yourself while you enjoying it.
That’s pretty fucking asinine. God forbid someone feels a bit guilty and maybe wants to save orgasms for at home. Tip 4: If you’re in a relationship be open an honest with your partner about your job, how it makes you feel, and how he/she feels about it. An open line of communication and honesty is integral. If your partner feels he needs to see other people to be with you, evaluate that carefully and do not rush into a decision. Likewise if a partner decides they can’t be with you and you have to choose between the job and them. It is your life and you have to decide if a job (or potential career) is worth possibly throwing away the person you want(ed) to be with for the rest of your life. YOU MAY DECIDE IT IS, but thinking on it for awhile is never a bad idea!
You might decide you want richer man over those that are poor. Or you might want to work for younger men that don’t have a lot of money. The choice is yours.
O…kay.
Safety is difficult when you are working as an escort on your own. You might not be telling anyone about your job, so your risk of getting hurt is high, since no one will know what you are doing, with who you are and where.
Are they under some kind of assumption that the average agency provides proper security? Tip 5: Screen and screen hard. Get a safecall or driver. Join Date-Check and P411 (RS2K if it’s prominent in your area). Familiarise yourself with the sites. Join providerbuzz.com. Check your references – I have received FAKE references before. ALWAYS verify your references are REAL before seeing a client!
Sadly, most escorts who work for themselves don’t screen their dates. This can be a huge issue if the guy doesn’t like how you preform the tasks he tells you to do.
Wonder where they got “most” as I’ve seen plenty of backpage and cityvibe girls who screen. Those who don’t seem to advertise as “non-pro” and only do this “once in awhile” when “desperate” which is not exactly who this article is supposedly geared towards.
B. The men are screened before they get to you- Instead of having to screen each client yourself ,he is screened by the company. The screening process might be very long, so that the company is sure you are safe with the man your are entertaining.
That’s a load of shit. There are some GREAT agencies that DO screen well but the average agency? Yeah, no. I don’t really see them as a trustworthy source of screening. I won’t take references from agencies, that’s for sure.
The first thing you need as an escort is to keep your body looking amazing. Having a well-toned body is very important. You want to be in shape or have very little fat on you. It is true there are escorts that are on the heavy side, but most are light in weight. Clients prefer different things, so the most important thing is to make your body be healthy for you.
But I thought this job was simple and fun! And I thought you said that clients just wanted to spend time with me and pamper me! What do you mean I need to be a supermodel!? Again, not true. Ever hear the saying, “There’s someone for everyone”? It applies to escorting – I can think of several mature women and BBWs that clean house – and that’s just off the top of my head. Tip 6: Love and embrace your body, curves, bones, scars – whatever. Exude sexiness. Wear clothing and makeup that flatter you. Always advertise with honesty and integrity. Never be ashamed! You will get clients, I assure you.
You want to take pictures that show how amazing your body is and how soft your skin is.
This translates to “fat girl camera angle” and “don’t forget to airbrush” – again, not true. You need GOOD photos, for sure, but they also need to be REAL. The person in the photo needs to be the person that arrives at the door.
The sixth thing you need to be an escort is the willingness to try something at least once before giving up on it
They’re subtly telling you to try anal. Probably because it brings in more money.
The second way you can prevent drama is to never let the money change hands. Instead have your client place the money on a table or somewhere else. You can also prevent any legal drama by considering the money you are paid a donation and not actual payment or a wage you earned for the services you offered.
This will not prevent you from being arrested in a sting. Period. Tip 7: Ask around for an escort friendly lawyer and bail bond company (just in case). Put aside an emergency fund of at least $1000 with a family member in the event you are mistakenly arrested for legally spending time with someone.
The fifth way to protect your identity and prevent drama is to keep your personal life out of the conversation. There is honestly no reason for the client to know about your family and what is going on in your life. Instead get the conversations simple and ask them to talk about themselves. You can talk about simple generic things like the fact that you are in college but you shouldn’t say what college and when your classes are and how often you go. Being overly open isn’t good for this job.
I don’t disagree with this entirely – but you have to let a little out, otherwise your clients will find you boring. I found that when I didn’t talk about my life and life experience as much I wasn’t described as “bubbly” or “vibrant” the way I am now. Injecting a bit of your soul into the job is a necessity. Be real without being revealing.
So lets sum it up shall we?
Tip 1: The job is about more than just money. It gives you an incomparable freedom to work for yourself, explore your sensuality, celebrate your body, and meet people from all walks of life.
Tip 2: Select who you tell about your job very carefully. The exception is a partner/spouse – tell them 100% of the time. Never hide something like this from someone you are sleeping with, as it’s their body and they have the right to know who/what they are sleeping with. They also have the right to not sleep with you and to take away their bodily integrity isn’t right.
Tip 3: Don’t be surprised at the long hours. Take them in stride, because even with all of the time you invest you still make more than the average joe. But don’t forget to pay your taxes. Tip 3 addendum: Seriously, you still make a great living I promise. All of the blood, sweat, and tears you put into the “non-work” side of escorting pays off.
Tip 4: If you’re in a relationship be open an honest with your partner about your job, how it makes you feel, and how he/she feels about it. An open line of communication and honesty is integral. If your partner feels he needs to see other people to be with you, evaluate that carefully and do not rush into a decision. Likewise if a partner decides they can’t be with you and you have to choose between the job and them. It is your life and you have to decide if a job (or potential career) is worth possibly throwing away the person you want(ed) to be with for the rest of your life. YOU MAY DECIDE IT IS, but thinking on it for awhile is never a bad idea!
Tip 5: Screen and screen hard. Get a safecall or driver. Join Date-Check and P411 (RS2K if it’s prominent in your area). Familiarise yourself with the sites. Join providerbuzz.com. Check your references – I have received FAKE references before. ALWAYS verify your references are REAL before seeing a client!
Tip 6: Love and embrace your body, curves, bones, scars – whatever. Exude sexiness. Wear clothing and makeup that flatter you. Always advertise with honesty and integrity. Never be ashamed! You will get clients, I assure you.
Tip 7: Ask around for an escort friendly lawyer and bail bond company (just in case). Put aside an emergency fund of at least $1000 with a family member in the event you are mistakenly arrested for legally spending time with someone.
