Cortigiana Onesta

If you think about it it what percent of the female population would have sex for money? The SP’s that can even pretend to like their jobs are still special. It is rare for a women to take pride and enjoy being a prostitute. She could have been just a regular girl and now unhappy with the fact that she has reduced herself to the lowest profession.

This is from a post on a local Vancouver message board. It was a reply to a review about an SP who seemed bored and would not look at her clients during the act. You know, I’m not stupid (I promise). I realise that my chosen career path is quite misunderstood by society. Not only is it misunderstood, it is frowned upon, joked about, and stereotyped to hell and back.

But I will not accept it. My job is far from the “lowest profession”. In fact, I love my job and you’re just going to have to realise that. Maybe one day you’ll understand, or even accept it.

(Ooh, now I’m all giddy from my overuse of bold and italics!)

Posts like the one up above are somewhat common on the Canadian hobbyists forums. Due to the legality, you can get away with saying a lot more. It’s a double edged sword. I love the freedom of being able to openly discuss and explain all aspects of it, but at the same time I really hate seeing things like that.

Now I’m not saying I want my cake and the ability to eat it too, not at all. I don’t think the providers should get to be open and honest and the men should have to keep to themselves. That’s ridiculous. What I am saying is that it would be nice to have the very people patronising us¹, using our services, benefiting from the profession not sitting there shit talking what we do. What on Earth would make you think I would want to spend time with you after reading that? Or because I’m the lowest thing on Earth I must also be so broke I can’t even choose who I spend time with? Fuck. That.

This viewpoint is not limited to hobbyists, or even men. Women say it too, just as much if not more. It seems there are two types of women who subscribe to this point of view. Former providers, and those who think they’re feminists but really aren’t². From what I’ve seen, former providers who say this type of stuff have either been scorned in the industry by a traumatic event, or are bitter they left the industry for whatever reason. The wannabe feminists, well that’s self explanatory. But back on topic…

I will say this here and now: I do not think that there is such a thing as a lowest profession. I think there is a job and a place in this world for everyone. People ask me, well if your job isn’t degrading/low what is? I shrug, because honestly…I never know how to answer that.

I feel bad for the woman who scrubs my feet and trims my toenails. I feel bad for the woman who has to comb through my hair when I get it coloured or ironed out³. But I don’t think their job is “low” or “degrading” in any fashion. The women and men I patronise⁴ for services enjoy their jobs, or at least do a damn good job of faking it. I believe in embracing and loving your craft. I try not to go to people who hate their job⁵, and I will not repeat a service with someone who was noticeably miserable. Passion for the job⁶ was a plus, but not necessary.

I am not much different than any other person who has found their niche, hones their craft, and is content with their life. I am not selling my body, you don’t get to keep me. You get some of my time. At the end of the day I go home with less time, more money, and 100% of my body. JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

The main difference in this case is privilege. I have a hell of a lot of it in this occupation, and I am both happy and thankful for this. You think I don’t love having the ability to pick and choose what jobs I do and when I work? Or having the financial freedom to pursue my passions, and philanthropic interests?⁷

Sometimes I wonder if this viewpoint is jealousy. On the female side there’s the misconception of tons of money with little work, the freedom, the sexual liberation. The misconception that we’re lone wolves who need nobody, have no husbands, no other jobs, no children, no responsibilities⁸.

It makes me shake my head to think of, as we are normal women with normal problems just like them. We have periods⁹, pimples, cramps, stress, boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/partner drama, wrinkles, kids¹⁰, taxes, licensing fees, bills, diets, plastic surgery¹¹, weight problems, family issues, client issues, work drama, you name it. While it can be a nice lifestyle, it can also be hectic¹². Whether it seems like it or not, we put in as much work as a small business owner trying to build a brand. There is nothing more to be jealous of than any other female entrepreneur.

From the male side it’s a little more simple, as this viewpoint is seen with men and women in porn. We can have SEX for MONEY. This idea seems awesome to them. Guys that think this generally don’t think of the logistics – soreness, yeast infections, fatigue, performance anxiety¹³, the insecurities about our bodies¹⁴. Guys that think this way also don’t realise how not fun porn can be for men as well¹⁵. They just hear “sex for money” and a well spun fantasy appears. The problem only comes when they refuse to acknowledge sex work is not all sparkles and orgasms like their fantasy world.

Well I have veered off topic quite a bit here, but I’m going to let it stand. Sometimes a stream of consciousness can be a decent read, and I hope this was one of them.

1. patronising as in being our customers not patronising as in being a condescending asshat [↩]
2. real feminists support women making their own choices and doing what they want whether it’s being a whore or a housewife…though, aren’t those 2 pretty close to the same thing [↩]
3. I have ethnic hair [↩]
4. again, use the services of [↩]
5. the exception of course is buying food/necessities – while there are some who love cashiering I know it’s the minority [↩]
6. namely, hair stylists [↩]
7. I love the fact I can run a December charity drive and donate to RAINN and Missing Kids without batting an eyelash. I grew up and lived hand to mouth for a very long time, so you better believe I’m thankful for EVERYTHING. [↩]
8. some of us are like that, but the vast majority are “normal” women [↩]
9. uh, those of us with uteri anyway – and yes I know uteri isn’t the real plural of uterus [↩]
10. if we have chosen to have them [↩]
11. if we choose to have it [↩]
12. When I say hectic I mean “juggling 6 things, they’re all on fire, and you’re standing on a bus” – points if you get the reference [↩]
13. yes, we have it…do you know how frustrating it can be not to get wet when aroused? [↩]
14. stretch marks, cellulite, bruises, freckles, dimples…you name it [↩]
15. Viagra, fluffers, numbness, performance anxiety, not lasting long enough, etc etc etc… [↩]