Cortigiana Onesta

I wanted to make a post about the costs of being a companion. At first this was just going to be about the actual, monetary costs but I wanted to go into some of the non-monetary costs as well.

Ever hear the saying “it takes money to make money”? It’s an extremely true statement, especially in this business. How much money varies on how much you care about the job. I hate to put it that way, but it’s true. You can wear cheapy lingerie that looks okay and needs replaced every three weeks. Stockings that are stretched or that have small runs. You can colour your own hair from a box.

You’ll still make money. Just not as much, and less repeat business. You can wear your everyday makeup that looks alright or you can take the time to find out what makeup looks best with your lingerie, match it according, and look smashing. You can shave down there daily and deal with razor burn and having to cover it with makeup, or you can research how to prevent it.

Now please don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying you HAVE to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on designer lingerie, shoes, stockings, clothes. You don’t have to buy Dior eyeshadow, Hermes handbags, Armani coats. That’s not what I’m saying at all, because it’s completely unnecessary. But in spending a little extra money and time, you can increase your earning potential and go much further in the business. The goal isn’t to spend lots of money, but rather to make it look like you do. The last thing you want in this business is to LOOK cheap.

Places like Winners (Canada) or TJ/TK Maxx (US/UK respectively), and Ross should be on your frequently visited list. Scour these places regularly, as they get some nice lingerie from time to time. I’ve found some really nice pieces of lingerie at Winners from Rampage (who also makes nice shoes).

Mid-priced lingerie shops like La Senza and Victoria’s Secret should also be on your radar during sales. Their full price stuff is, for the most part, a rip-0ff as the quality isn’t always the best. But their sale prices are more than fair. Same goes for your local department store. Keep an eye out there too, but don’t pay full price. Pay close attention to sales, coupons, and 2 for 1 (or similar) deals. Back to school and end of season sales are your best friend. With the economy being so bad, also watch for recession sales and business closing/liquidation sales.

Frederick’s of Hollywood is my favourite for non fishnet stockings, and bra and panty sets.  They often run great deals on bras.  Keep them on your radar, the stuff is quality and built to last.

But the real goldmine for lingerie, in my opinion, is a GOOD sex shop.  You’ll find the best ones near military bases.  Bonus points if there’s a strip club nearby. Body stockings, corsets, pvc, fishnet anything, costumes, and even some sheer dresses and teddies.  The stuff isn’t the GREATEST quality, but it’s usually at a low enough price it’s a non-issue.

I don’t recommend Walmart for anything other than regular pantyhose.

Buy lingerie that flatters your body type and any physical flaws you may have and take good care of your lingerie. It’s one of the most important things in terms of aesthetics.  I always stress that crotchless fishnets go a long way for leg and ass flaws, and good heels will lean you out.  3 to 4 inches is ideal.

Here’s a breakdown of my personal costs for work.

Make-up: $50 once every 3 months. I do not wear lipstick or perfume which saves a great deal of money. Before you ask why I don’t wear lipstick or perfume, think a little about how you would feel if your significant other came home smelling of lady’s perfume and lipstick on his collar.

Lingerie: This one is a little trickier but I’d say I spend anywhere from $500-$2000 a year depending on need.

Stockings: This is the item I have to replace most since they get the most wear. I probably spend about $20-30/month on them. I found that they all stretch, they all run, so just buy a mid-ranged brand that fits good and looks nice.  Frederick’s stockings last longer than most if we aren’t talking about fishnet.  Fishnet stockings are all shoddy quality.

Shoes: These take the least wear, you rarely walk in them, so just go for something that looks great with your lingerie and outcall clothing. I spent $25 bucks on some gorgeous black Mary Jane pumps at a post-Christmas sale. This is one thing you CAN go to Walmart/Target/Zellers/Payless for. I’m also a big fan of Macy’s for good heels, even though they will run you anywhere from 40-80 dollars at regular price. Just watch carefully for sales.

Hair care: I spend about $30 every 4 weeks for a colour, trim, and deep conditioning treatment. Your milage may vary depending on your hair type, length, and style desired. I have a professional flat iron ($150, but to be fair I bought it ages ago for personal use), and I use Q-Silk silicone hair treatment.  I go to my local beauty school for this.

Nails: I get one mani/pedi every 6 weeks or so and just maintain at home.  I use clear polish only.

Body: Whether it’s walking, running, doing yoga, putting an exercise bike in front of your TV, or going to the gym I feel the need to maintain my body.  Others don’t, and that’s fine, but I spent about $250 on a home bike, ankle weights, and some free weights.

Sexual safety: Condoms and lube! Absolute necessities. I spend about $250/year on condoms (from Condomania) and $100 on lube (from CheapLubes). I use Crown (also called Crown Skin Less Skin) for regular sized men, Magnums for larger men. I use Wet Platinum Premium Body Glide. Not to mention that CheapLubes includes a large sample pack of flavoured lubes/massage oils just for fun.

Outcall wear: I purchased a nice coat and 2 dresses for about $150 to wear to upscale hotels or restaurants. The coat was 70% off due to end of season/sidewalk sales, the dresses were buy one get one half off. I got a classy little black purse that matches everything for $15.

Cell phone: You need a phone with GPS tracking, texting, and that is easy to use.  YMMV on cost.

Overall, to pay for these things, I think I work maybe an extra hour or two a month tops. And these things really have made a difference. I’ve been doing this off and on for a few years now and while I’ve just gone back to it about 2 months ago, I have noticed a steady increase in my clientele since getting the money to do nicer things like the Brazilian, the professional hair colouring, manicures, nicer lingerie.

Now how about the non-monetary costs? I’ve gone over some of these in my FAQ and lists but not in very much detail.

Sex: I like sex, I do. I have a healthy sexual appetite and get regular non-work sex. I do not treat my sexual partners like clients, they do not treat me like an escort. I enjoy my sex life, and there’s been really no negative impact on it.

Friends: I have friends. Some know what I do, some don’t. I don’t tell the ones who don’t because most of them are either anti-sex work or just wouldn’t really get it. I don’t feel that their opinion of me should changed based on what I do for a living. I liken this to a doctor who performs abortions. That doctor probably just tells people, “Yeah I’m a doctor” and when they get asked specifics they mention “women’s health”. Most people know that I do lingerie and nude modeling, I don’t hide that. Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler have made it more okay to show off your body. But this kind of work isn’t quite there yet. So I either tell people that I just model. A few people know what I actually am, the ones I know won’t turn on me or judge me. The ones who get it.

Family: I don’t really have much of it. I have one family member of importance. They don’t know anything about this. They know about the modeling and aren’t really happy with it, but support my choices as an adult. I don’t know what they’d do if they knew, I don’t want to find out.  This person knows I do something other than modelling and is fine with whatever it is as long as I’m not dealing drugs. I think deep down they know, but neither of us really feels the need to verbalise it.

Availability: It’s a lot harder to plan my upcoming week.  I can plan way in advance, and block off time when I have no appointments, but I really hate making myself unavailable without knowing interest.  Most of my clients book anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 days in advance.

Reviews: My reviews are actually quite good, and I am blessed to have seen men with such kind words.  That being said, I do notice people sometimes trying to emulate what they read in the reviews which bugs me a bit.  I do not like to provide carbon copy service, and I certainly do not want to have the same encounter time and time again.

Physical demands: I feel like I’ve always got to be perfect. I watch my weight a little too closely and exercise more than I probably need to. I know I have a nice body, but I’m so paranoid and sometimes stress out. This is something that I’m getting better at dealing with, but it still does get to me sometimes.

STDs: Even though my clients are well screened (and have great hygeine), I get weekly tests, use condoms for everything, make sure there’s no visible sores or anything obvious it still IS a concern. I am comfortable with it, but one of the downsides is that yes, my job can get me sick. Will it? Probably not. And statistically I have a lower risk of getting an STD than women who go to bars, get drunk, and fuck without protection. But I do still think about it from time to time.

Public opinion/stereotypes: Annoying as hell. Part of the reason I keep this blog (aside from the fact that I like writing) is the hopes that it enlightens at least one person about the realities of sex work. If I can show 5 people in my entire life that sex work is not what the media says it is and they tell 5 people then all of my time invest in this blog is well worth it.

Assault/rape: This is a concern that plagues anyone who spends intimate time with multiple people. Women who go to bars often go willingly with men, decide not to sleep with them, and get beaten and raped. The same applies to escorts. This is why GOOD client screening is absolutely integral. I recommend carrying some form of legal protection. Pepper spray, a small knife, a self defense class. Just make sure whatever you carry is LEGAL in your area. The last thing you want to do is be arrested when in reality you’re the victim.

Legalities/Law Enforcement: What I do is completely legal. All money exchanged is for companionship only and anything that happens is a decision between two consenting adults. Money is not exchanged for sexual services, but rather time. The disclaimer on my page is absolutely true.  I do not sell sex, I sell my companionship.  I sell a fantasy.  There is nothing illegal about that whatsoever.

That being said, I work in both Canada and the US. The sex trade is kind of legal in Canada. However there are many people against it so there’s a bunch of little loopholes about what they can and can’t get you for. So you do have to be careful and know the law, but the worry is not as much as it is in the US. If you’re interested in this subject, here is a really good write-up about it. Knowing the law and knowing your rights is extremely important in the event you do have a run in with the moral police.  Always have the number of a good lawyer on hand too.