Cortigiana Onesta

Someone asked me today what I think of my clients. Do I think less of them, do I think they’re pathetic? Why I call them “clients” not “johns”. Things like that. So I thought I’d write a bit about that.

My clients are people just like you and me. Some of them are shy, some of them are socially inept, some of them don’t want the hassle of a relationship, some of them are too afraid to invest themselves in a relationship, some of them don’t have the time and feel it isn’t fair to toy with another person’s heart, some just don’t even want a relationship, and some are just looking for an amazing sexual encounter and don’t want to gamble with drama from a random girl.
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Ten things I like about my job:

10. The ability to work when, how often, and how much I want. With the money I earn, I only *need* 6 hours a month to pay all of my bills, bank a little, and have spending money.

9. The wonderful places I get to see. I get to visit swanky hotels and restaurants. Places I’d never go to on my own. I can relax in luxury AND get paid for it.

8. I get to pamper myself. Bi-weekly manicures and pedicures are a must as is monthly hair colouring/cutting/styling.

7. I own lingerie now. I’ve always loved lingerie, but never saw a reason to own or wear any. Now I get paid to have it.

6. Motivation to be healthy. I used to yoyo up and down in weight from unhealthily underweight to normal weight. Now I stay at a normal weight because looking like a skeleton is not what most guys want. I keep my BMI around 19 now.

5. My job is fun. I don’t mean that the sex is great, because it isn’t always. I enjoy the job itself and have a good time at work even if the fun isn’t always pleasure based.

4. I get to meet interesting people from all walks of life. I get to learn so many things about people, the world, life, you name it.

3. The money. I touched on this before, but the money is great. It allows me to pursue whatever I want as a hobby.

2. I enjoy making other people happy, and in this job I know I do exactly that. I give it my all every single time I go to work because my job is to make sure the client feels special, wanted, valued, and pleased.  And that makes me feel amazing.

1. Self confidence. I know that in reality, my job is no more or less empowering than any other but the amount of confidence I gain from it is indescribable. And because of this, I’m a happier person overall.

Five things I hate about my job:

5. I have to commute, as I don’t live in the area that I work.  It takes me about an hour to get to my usual service area.

4. I’m not really able to plan ahead as much as I’d like to.  For instance, I’ll think I have X, Y, and Z days off and then the day before X I’ll get bookings for all 3 days.

3. Clients who expect a PSE (porn star expirience) when they’ve requested a GFE (girlfirend expirience). They are different price points and you are not getting something for nothing.

2. Clients with WAY over the top egos. This includes:

a. Men who think they need large condoms and clearly do not AND get offended when I use regular sized condoms on them. If you like to believe you need a magnum and don’t, that’s fine. But when you expect me to compromise my safety to inflate your ego…no.

b. Clients who flex during intercourse, come on really? I don’t mind if you think you’re a stud in bed…but FLEXING? No.  This is not American Psycho.

c. Men that think they’re going to “loosen me up” and say it repeatedly during the act. Yeah okay buddy.

d. Clients who demand facials during a GFE. That’s a PSE offering only.  If that’s not okay with you, feel free to use another escort but getting arrogant with me telling me I’m ‘just a whore’ and should have no personal preferences or limitations because you’re paying me…well, go fuck yourself.

1. Bad hygiene. Showering isn’t hard, especially since we offer you one that is fully stocked with washcloths and soap. It only takes 3 minutes of your hour to clean yourself well enough. Please do it.

And for the love of god, make sure you wash your penis/testicles. I’ve found that cut men are LESS LIKELY to do this and it’s really made me come to internally cringe when I see a client is cut. Cleaner my ass. Wash your dick, cut or not. It’s not hard (no pun intended), rub it around in the shower for fuck sake. I get that (most of) you didn’t choose whether or not you’re cut but no matter WHAT skin you do (or don’t) have you DO choose whether or not you’re a stank ass.

Five random facts about me:

5. I am very outspoken. I try to be more passive and keep it to myself in my job since it earns more tips but I have very strong opinions.

4. I am an artist. I may not feel I am a very good artist, but I am one.  And I make money at it.

3. I love to cook. I don’t love to eat, but I love to cook. I think it falls in line with the whole art thing. I just love to create.

2. I only wear makeup for work. I don’t like it off the clock.

1. I don’t have the ‘perfect body’. I have a scar from my surgery and a few remnant stretch marks. I make the same rate as girls that model professionally. How and why? Confidence and skill. It’s all you need. Don’t let physical flaws hold you back.  This job is at least 75% attitude and confidence.